Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Tuesday was the day our kids left the care center for good. I don't know how to describe this day. It is the day I cried the most. It was a very hard day for Meazi and Melese. It was another transition. It was leaving friends and nannies. I soaked Melese's nanny's dress with my tears. I didn't want to let go of her. She was so kind, and I could tell she loved him. I have written a bit about Tuesday night here. I have mentioned before, and I will say it again, it was one of the saddest days of my life. Poor Meazi was a complete wreck. It was more loss for them. They were scared. Remember the video I posted here? Her face sums it up I think. I don't even remember feeling relieved, or happy on this day. I'm sure that I must have been, but really Meazi's face during the farewell party was so sad and confused that that is all I can think of at this moment.

She and Yihun cut the farewell party cake together, a privilege given to the two eldest children. (Yihun's mom is also flashing back to this week on her blog).

Here Meazi says goodbye to her amazing social worker. We were lucky enough to have Roza as our translator on Sunday as well. Roza also helps us later on in the week. Can't say enough good things about Roza.

Isn't she beautiful? Aren't they both beautiful?

After the cake, the prayers, and the goodbyes, we went back to the guesthouse for lunch. Later that afternoon we had our embassy appointment. (This is the day I learned that when Meazi is particularly scared she over-accessorizes).

The trip to the embassy was like a scene out of this movie. It was pouring rain, the city was so grey. The embassy, as many of you know, has an outdoor seating area that is not really protected from the elements. The wet marble stairs were a nightmare, and I was sure Melese and I were going to plummet to our deaths on the way back down after our interview. The highlight of the embassy was running into this family.

That evening was our first night together.

It was a sad day. It was a terribly sad day. I have never seen such grief pour out of a person so small. I am crying just typing this. I hope my children never feel this scared again.


  1. I'm enjoying your recaps. I can also relate to crying while recalling the memories from a year ago. Thanks for taking the time to capture these first experiences with your children. I'm so glad for blogging. I don't know how much I would remember, otherwise.

  2. It's making me cry. Such hard days and sad good-byes and confusing times. Thank goodness for all the healing and laughter that has been taking place.

    (from http://www.eastiopians.wordpress.com)

  3. Boy, can I relate to that tear-drenching & not wanting to let go.

    I'm so sorry for all the sadness of that day, but just like I thought on your previous post, I am so happy M & m had/have you.

    Love to your sweet family.

  4. Oh Julie, you did a beautiful job writing about the goodbye party. As you know, that day was especially difficult for us and I'm still not sure what to write about it.

    Like you and Tammy, I have been so emotional while recalling the memories.

  5. You've had me thinking about first meeting my boys. Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night and just sobbed. This experience is so huge - almost senseless to someone who hasn't been through it. Glad to have you as a kindred spirit in our particular journey into parenthood.

  6. Sigh. You know, I thought of your earlier posts about how scared M&m were when it was our turn two months ago. I expected our boys to be scared that first night but our tough times didn't happen until a few days later and then they came like a hurricane. I'm sure this has to do with the difference in how our agencies transition families and I am a little jealous of your experience as we didn't get to know our boys nannies beyond a hug and a photo. Beautiful post, Julie.

  7. We were in the same room as you!!!

  8. We loved sitting with you, and in case I never said it before, thank you for talking me down. Tense moments, those. Not sure what I would have done without you all there providing some much needed positive distraction.

  9. I am constantly struck by how so many children seem to end up with parents whose previous lives prepared them perfectly for the challenges their kids will face...you know so much about grief and loss, and now you can lend your hard-earned strength and wisdom to M&m as they go through their difficult times.

    As alway, a beautiful post...

  10. I was fine - separating myself from your story - until you wrote "I have never seen such grief pour out of a person so small". It made me tear up instantly as well. Made me think of the day we met Eli and took him back to the guest house with us. I, too, hope that he never has to feel that sad/scared again. I feel the same for your children.