Monday, April 19, 2010
Eight Months & Five Days Ago...
She was so scared. She is still scared. On my birthday she asked me who would take care of her and Melese when Steven and I died. I don't think that a lot of the people she knew in Ethiopia made it past 40 years old.
This girl breaks my heart. This girl fills my heart.
These children are remarkable.
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oh sweet jesus...i could only make it 15 seconds. these kids have the hearts of lions.
ReplyDeleteIf I can barely handle your little girl handling this all, boy, I'm not sure I can do this.
ReplyDeleteI was a mess in the first minute. Such a powerful and deeply sad and deeply happy moment. Breaks my heart that at such a young age she worries about your death. I hope life fills her and fills her until it's all she can think about. Hugs to a sweet momma who walks her through this.
ReplyDeleteThat post seriously needed a warning. I made it about 20 seconds in before I started bawling. Wow....how beautiful and sad all at the same time.
ReplyDeleteAnd you are their heart.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 12
I learned life is fragile
heartbreak is inevitable
and pain inescapable
I also learned
it’s all about the heart
was then. is now.
because the heart doesn’t forget
that soft moment between
strangers and friends
brothers and sisters
husbands and wives
mothers and daughters
fathers and sons
the tug that pulls you in and back
to where you opened up
you weren’t afraid or self-conscious
you leaned in and breathed
your eyes open to the possibility
of soulful connection
and you caught a glimpse
of life’s purest golden meaning
and you promised yourself
you would sustain that
in everyday
and you could
if only the rest of the world would lean in too
but isn’t that the only way to shake the spirits closer?
to empty the pockets of glorious stories?
you shift a little
inch by inch
and draw somebody in
day after day
and the divide thins
and the heart is full because afterall,
it’s all about the heart
was then. is now. always will be.
Yeah, a warning would be good. So little. So brave. So beautiful. So crying my eyes out. Perfect song choice.
ReplyDeleteI was trying to comprehend the thoughts she was having at that moment and I can't.
ReplyDeleteA happy and sad moment indeed.
Can you teach me how to feel so much? These days, I feel I can only function at half numb. You guys are so beautiful. xoxo
ReplyDeleteLove.
ReplyDeleteCindy
Oh Sweet little Meazi, she looks so tiny in that video. All I kept thinking while watching this is how perfectly matched you all are! The love, strength and compassion in all of you is astounding. You are a wonderful mama... I think I counted 100 kisses during that ride. xoxo
ReplyDeleteoh.
ReplyDeletethe beauty.
the heartbreak.
beautiful and at the same time, heartbreaking. now I'm remembering all those same emotions that came pouring out of me on that same short bus ride...
ReplyDeletewow.
ReplyDeletelove you all.
remarkable children...remarkable family. thanks for sharing the broken and full hearts with us!
ReplyDeleteYeah, like Mama Dog, I was crying within the first ten seconds, still am now more than 5 minutes later, one more tear running into my left nostril.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. Just beautiful. Tears here too.
ReplyDeleteoh...they both look so tiny and young and like little babies! Crazy how much they have grown (in every way!) in the past 8 months and 5 days!
ReplyDeleteThat took my breath away! I got good bumps and had such a mix of emotions.
ReplyDeleteCarolyn
And so, are you. Jeez, yeah, a caution box or something....have pity!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post Julie, our kids have so much strength don't they? I hope I can learn from them.
ReplyDeleteThe thought of what the children of ET have to endure brings me to tears every time. How lucky are we all to have these children in our lives forever... You have a beautiful family.
ReplyDeleteOh, wow.
ReplyDeleteI watched it last night, but just didn't know what to say. My heart ached for her.
ReplyDeleteThey are remarkable, and so are you.
ReplyDelete(and your blog is now officially off limits to me at work where crying is not cool!)
Has it really been that long? Still seems like yesterday in so many ways...
ReplyDeleteI am so happy she has you. I am so happy you have her.
ReplyDeleteBEAUTIFUL....Thanks for sharing this with all of us....
ReplyDeleteThis is beauty.
ReplyDeleteI love that you can hear each of the kisses you give her.
ReplyDeletePriceless video!
What a lovely moment captured with misty windows, sounds of kisses, smiles and apprehension, Melese's big eyes, Meazi's sweet face. Yet another post of yours that had me crying. At first I thought, "what are these people talking about...15 seconds until tears." Then I think by 14 seconds I was crying. So many emotions in her question and her story and the video. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI can't stop thinking about this video. It is one of the most powerful things I think I have ever seen. Yes. really.
ReplyDeleteThey are so brave, and so are you. You are all so perfectly matched. What a precious and rare thing, to love and be loved like you love your children. That leaving is profoundly sad, yet so beautiful. Thank you for sharing that.
ReplyDeleteI love the kiss,kiss,kiss,kiss,kiss natural reaction of a mother to a child. I just returned from caring for our newest grand-daughter and her 18 month old brother. My lips are raw! Nothing like the hugs, sniffs, and kiss, kiss, kisses!!!
ReplyDeleteOh so powerful. beautiful. the resiliance and strength and courage of these little ones. thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteheartbreaking. beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI've been spending the past week or so becoming acquainted with your blog, Julie, and it's been an absolutely beautiful and emotional experience. I love your talented way with words and how raw and open you are with your family's experiences. Melese is possibly the most gorgeous little boy I've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteWhen I watched this video, his big and frightened eyes affected me deeply. I can't explain the way I felt. I kept rewinding to the part where his eyes dart quickly to Steven and away again. The poor thing looked terrified and I can't really imagine what horrors he and his sister had to face during their time at the orphanage.
It is good to see them blossoming under your love and care. Be encouraged. :)
Oh and by the way, great decision on the "no tv" for the children!