Steven asked me to update my blog so that he wouldn't have to see that terribly sad picture of Melese anymore.
Here are some links for a bit of writing I have been doing between school pick ups. (My apologies if none of them are new to you.)
My column for InCulture Parent-Thankfulness, Insecurity and Adoption: A Messy Lesson
A couple of posts I wrote for a new website- Adoption.net
Family, Lost and Found
Happy Halloween?
Have a wonderful weekend.
Showing posts with label Meazi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Meazi. Show all posts
Friday, November 22, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
My Favorite Artist
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Meazi under her self-portrait. |
When I grow up I want to be an artist. Right now I like to
write poems. My favorite painter is me. My favorite food is slippery shrimp. I
like playing with my brother.
I like playing mommy and daddy with my brother. At school I
like playing with Lulu. She is my best friend. My brother’s name is
Melese.
If you'd like to make Meazi's favorite food, HERE is the recipe.
It is delicious.
Her self-portrait is her standing in a crystal cave. They did a performance at her school where each kid had to describe the most beautiful thing they had ever seen. Meazi apparently saw a crystal cave in National Geographic.
Can you tell I adore her? How could you not?
Got any recommendations for actual crystal caves to visit?
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Chink in the Armor
I feel like I need an early disclaimer in this post. I am not judging anyone for what they do with their child's hair. I am not. I am especially not judging my good friends whom I know have had major challenges, and have made very thoughtful, agonizing decisions about their daughters' hair. I think every family has to do what is best for their child. I think every child is different. Every family is different.
That being said, I am sad about this...
On the first day of second grade I picked Meazi up at 3:00. She started to tell me about her new classroom. I asked her if 'J' was in her class. She told me she was, and said, "But mom, there is one thing about that." I kept looking at her in the rear view mirror. Her face got a little contorted in a way I didn't recognize. She said, "Mom, she straightened her hair." J is Ethiopian/American- not adopted.
"I couldn't believe it mom."
I don't know how to describe what happened to Meazi while she was telling me about this. I know I should have been looking ahead, on the road, but her face was expressing so many things. I could tell that she had been taken down a notch. Her expression was sheepish, embarrassed, sad, insecure, confused- her little features held more emotion at one time than I thought possible in a face. It was like I was watching her thought process. She has really been trying to still embrace what she calls her freedom hair, but I see life, friends, beauty standards, and everything else, seeping quickly in and making her doubt her self, and her hair.
Her beautiful, beautiful hair.
She doesn't need to be the spokesperson for natural beauty, I realize that. But it is more than that isn't it? I haven't seen the movie, Good Hair, but I think I need to. I can see my daughter being slowly pressured to not have an Afro-ever. I can see her being asked, in not so subtle ways, to conform. I can see her strong sense of identity shaken.
I see her being slowly convinced that freedom hair is all just a little bit too much. "I think I might like my hair straight" she said,"But just for a bit and then I would wet it to get it curly again."
Dear Meazi, tell that boy behind you who is complaining that he can't see around your hair to croon his neck, or move the hell over.
Smile at the next person who says something about your Freedom hair.
Tell your friend J that you absolutely loved her curls.
And rock on with your bad self.
That being said, I am sad about this...
On the first day of second grade I picked Meazi up at 3:00. She started to tell me about her new classroom. I asked her if 'J' was in her class. She told me she was, and said, "But mom, there is one thing about that." I kept looking at her in the rear view mirror. Her face got a little contorted in a way I didn't recognize. She said, "Mom, she straightened her hair." J is Ethiopian/American- not adopted.
"I couldn't believe it mom."
I don't know how to describe what happened to Meazi while she was telling me about this. I know I should have been looking ahead, on the road, but her face was expressing so many things. I could tell that she had been taken down a notch. Her expression was sheepish, embarrassed, sad, insecure, confused- her little features held more emotion at one time than I thought possible in a face. It was like I was watching her thought process. She has really been trying to still embrace what she calls her freedom hair, but I see life, friends, beauty standards, and everything else, seeping quickly in and making her doubt her self, and her hair.
She doesn't need to be the spokesperson for natural beauty, I realize that. But it is more than that isn't it? I haven't seen the movie, Good Hair, but I think I need to. I can see my daughter being slowly pressured to not have an Afro-ever. I can see her being asked, in not so subtle ways, to conform. I can see her strong sense of identity shaken.
I see her being slowly convinced that freedom hair is all just a little bit too much. "I think I might like my hair straight" she said,"But just for a bit and then I would wet it to get it curly again."
Dear Meazi, tell that boy behind you who is complaining that he can't see around your hair to croon his neck, or move the hell over.
Smile at the next person who says something about your Freedom hair.
Tell your friend J that you absolutely loved her curls.
And rock on with your bad self.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
When She Was Just a Girl...She Expected the World.
When she was just a girl, she expected the world. But it flew away from her reach. So she went away in her sleep. |
Dear Meazi,
Today was your last day of first grade. You were bouncing off the walls when I brought you to your classroom this morning. The room was buzzing with excitement. You have loved first grade. You adore your new school. You've made many new friends. You said it is a bittersweet time for you- sad because it is the end of the year, happy because you will soon be a second grader. How do you know the word bittersweet Meazi?
To say that we are proud of you is an understatement. Yesterday when I dropped you off, I took a moment to just gaze at you. I couldn't help it. You were radiating light. Your friend, and your brother, were staring at you too. You regaled us with some simple story that somehow sounded sparkly because you were telling it. It was as if I were standing next to the sun. Your eyes were huge, and your hair had been just braided by a friend the night before. You were literally shining.
You have shared a lot with your classmates. At the beginning of the year you showed them a picture of your Ethiopian family. You told everyone your entire adoption story. For weeks after, many of the other adopted kids in your class came and told me their adoption stories. When you received your citizenship, you brought in pictures the next day for show and tell.
As a student council member you showed everyone the school you helped build in Kololo. You told them that your father, and your uncles, worked on this school. You showed them what can happen when a community comes together.
You wrote a letter to President Obama, asking him to change things so that people from other countries could become president.
You learned how to hold, pluck, and nearly play the violin.
You showed your entire school your Eskista, and sang "I'm Black and I'm Proud" at the top of your lungs.
When we received the first and only picture of your late Ethiopian momma, you immediately brought it to school to show everyone. "I think my momma is the most beautiful person in the whole world," you said. You pulled the huge 8x10 out of an envelope, gasped and said to me, "Mom, when I first saw this photo I was sure that it was me!" You look so much like her. So much like her.
You are teaching me about what it means to be a friend. In a recent conversation I told you that you might want to avoid a classmate that wasn't treating you so nicely. You said, "Mom, if you are really good friends with someone, you are going to have fights! You just are! She is working on being kinder, and I am helping her." A bunch of kids came to play at the house. They asked you to leave the kitchen so they could draw something for you on the chalkboard.
"I Like Meazi. You are brite(sic) as sun shine." |
I am making it sound like you are perfect. In the beginning of the year we called you Officer Krupke . Your teachers had told us you were policing the classroom, and that you were acting like the victim a lot. You were easily wounded, and felt like you weren't getting what everyone else got. I'd see you cut in line, and tell the teachers about every slight, complaining frequently about your friends. Those same wise and wonderful teachers have assured me that you are over this. They told me that you have matured so much over this last semester.
You love books. You love those Wimpy kid books. You can read chapter books, but prefer that we read to you. You have met Laura Ingalls, and Roald Dahl, and Beverly Cleary. You are really, really, interested in babies, especially in books that show babies being born. I have a couple of books for you on the top shelf of my closet. I bet we take them out this summer. You and your classmates created your own version of Todd Parr's It's okay to be different. Here is your page:
You are a dancer. You did a play. It was the Wizard of Oz, you were Toto, and you had a fever and a bad cold, but you went on anyway. You are shy on stage, the opposite of what you are like in real life. Your dad and I were shocked to see this side of you. It was as if you were actually scared of something. As two theatre majors, this gave us great joy and a deep sense of relief.
You like science. You have a telescope and know about photosynthesis. Daddy has decided that if he brings his bee stuff into the classroom again, that you will do the presentation. When he did it in your current class, you finished all of his sentences, and answered all of the questions. You know a lot about bees. You eat A LOT of honey.
You are a writer. Your writer's workshop stories were both heartbreaking (the story of your bus ride to the care center in Ethiopia), and hilarious (the description of daddy screaming like a girl on Splash Mountain). You are a poet.
Yesterday I picked you up in the carpool line. I chose the stay in the car option because your brother was napping in his carseat. Another mom pulled up next to me, she too, had a daughter who was a "new kid" this year. We sat waiting. I looked up and saw you come out. You spotted me, smiled, waved, and shook your hips in a funny dance. I yelled up to you, "Shake it don't break it!" The other new kid's mom leaned over and said, "She is so beautiful. I don't normally comment on physical appearances, (it's that kind of thoughtful school where 98% of the parents are trying really hard to say the right thing- in a good way) but her bone structure, and her smile...." She put her hand over her heart as she described you. I smiled and reassured her. "It's ok," I said. It is ok to say she's beautiful. Some things can't be denied.
In an attempt to capture this time for you, here are your most requested on the way to school songs:
Paradise- Coldplay
Mean- Taylor Swift
Party Rock- LMAO
Buffalo Soldier- Bob Marley
Dynamite- Taio Cruz
Lucky Now- Ryan Adams
Coconut Water- Harry Belafonte
You still like butterflies, and the color purple.
Your most successful school lunch (most eaten) was spaghetti noodles with turkey bolognese.
Things that you ask for repeatedly:
A baby sister from China.
An Ipad.
Pierced ears.
Converse high tops (the ones that go all the way to the knees).
I know that today was an emotional day for you. I am so proud of you. I am so happy that you love me.
I am so lucky that you love me.
I hope that you always feel this way about school, and about friendship, and about life.
You are beautiful.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
This Blog...
This blog is practically defunct. Sorry. It is not for lack of ideas. I just can't seem to find the time to sit down and write. I couldn't even get it together to post a "Wordless Wednesday" photo.
For your enjoyment, I turn it over to Meazi today. I just picked her up from school. I looked at her in my rear view mirror as she said dreamily, "The clouds are moving really fast today. When I get home I'm going to write a poem."
For your enjoyment, I turn it over to Meazi today. I just picked her up from school. I looked at her in my rear view mirror as she said dreamily, "The clouds are moving really fast today. When I get home I'm going to write a poem."
Clouds
I jump through the sky
My feet sparkling
I love the sky
I land
I stay
I fall
Into
A
Deep sleep
Think I should just hand the whole blog over.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Already?
Steven has given me a disconcerting 'Heads up"...
Meazi has been asking questions...
about...
Mating. Yep, MATING. She wants to know about bees mating. And other creatures.
He thinks we are getting very close to the Birds and the Bees talk with Meazi.
Sigh and Ugh.
Although I am tempted to just give her the book that explained everything to me (just kidding), I thought you guys might have some good book recommendations.
Remember, she is six, but she already has a favorite Shakespeare play (Twelfth Night- she thinks it's "hilarious").
Suggestions?
Meazi has been asking questions...
about...
Mating. Yep, MATING. She wants to know about bees mating. And other creatures.
He thinks we are getting very close to the Birds and the Bees talk with Meazi.
Sigh and Ugh.
Although I am tempted to just give her the book that explained everything to me (just kidding), I thought you guys might have some good book recommendations.
Remember, she is six, but she already has a favorite Shakespeare play (Twelfth Night- she thinks it's "hilarious").
Suggestions?
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