Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Way to a Girl's Heart...

In the three months that we have been home, Meazi has uttered the words,"Mommy, Meazi happy," about a dozen times. Out of those twelve times, ten of those were during, or right after eating Ethiopian food in our kitchen.

Today was my third attempt at Doro Wat.

Although I didn't hear those three coveted words, I did here these three,

"Good wat-ty Mommy,"

And these three,

"Mommy, I like it."

And these five,

"Spicy food, I like it!"

I learned a great tip from Pip & Squeak's mom. You can chop as many onions as you'd like (say a Costco sized bag) and freeze what you don't use. Then when you want to make another dish, the onion part is already taken care of.

The days of fooling Meazi about the injera are over though, "Mommy, this is not injera, this is a tortilla!"

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Backtrack...Part II- It's a dry heat.

We had always planned on taking at least one extra week to travel around Ethiopia before our adoption week. That was about all Steven could take off from work, and still have some time with the kids when we got home. We had reservations to fly to Lalibela, and I thought we might even attempt to go here. We were excited to see as much of Ethiopia as we possibly could. When our social worker told us that there was an opening in an earlier travel group, we needed to make a decision: Scrap the traveling and go early to meet the kids? Or keep our itinerary and see more of Ethiopia? If Jesus himself was in Lalibela hosting viewings of the Arc of the Covenant, I still would have chosen to go early and meet my kids. (I did mention that it has taken ten years didn't I?) Rock-Hewn, Smock Hewn. This meant, however, that our Ethiopian experience consisted of only a week in Addis, and one day down south. I still would have made the same decision though. I know now that when we do go back, we will go back as a family, and maybe it will be better that way. I couldn't concentrate on anything but getting there, getting to M&m.



We chose to fly Emirates because as soon as you get on that return flight in Dubai, 16 1/2 hours later you are at LAX. It is a direct flight. We would be just minutes from home. This seemed a lot easier than navigating Dulles. I didn't want to lose those kidlets in transit. I realize that if we had taken Ethiopian Airlines we would have contributed more to our kids' birth country, but selfishly I just wanted to be able to get home. I also really liked the idea of staying the night in Dubai, catching some sleep, and taking a hot shower before arriving in Ethiopia.

There was an issue. Our social worker Jan told us that Meazi hadn't gotten her TB test yet, and that we were taking a big risk if we kept our reservation and left for Ethiopia. If Meazi's test was clear, they would just hustle and get her paperwork together so that we could make that week's embassy appointment. If her test was positive, we would have to stay longer in Ethiopia; a week maybe? Two months? We decided to go for it.We would figure out what to do when we got there. Jan said she would e-mail us the results, but that she wouldn't have them until we were mid-flight, on our way to Dubai.

Everyone said, "Make sure you get a bassinet!" We did get a bassinet...ON THE WAY THERE. There was a family of three woman and six children. The flight attendant came over and plunked the bassinet into the bulkhead right above my lap. It was right on top of me. I couldn't get my t.v. out. The baby's mom had a nice aisle seat, where she enjoyed movie after movie. After bitching and moaning to Steven about the injustice of having to endure somebody else's drooling, crying, baby in my lap on what was sure to be my last flight ever alone, without children, I said to myself, "This is a test. This is a test to see if I am ready to be a mom. This will prepare me for what it will be like on my way back." Oh, and I also brought Valium. Valium can make any baby cute.

Emirates was great on the way there, not so much on the way back. It is a bizarre thing to be in the air for that many hours. Since I wasn't watching any movies, I just kind of sat there, filled with anxiety about the TB thing, and excitement about finally meeting Meazi and Melese. I would close my eyes and just think about things. Then, when I was sure we had been traveling for at least four hours, I would open my eyes, check the travel marker screen and yell, "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY IT HAS ONLY BEEN TWENTY MINUTES!!!!!!" It was a long flight.

I don't remember landing in Dubai. I do remember getting outside and feeling the extreme heat (112 degrees I think), and stumbling into the hotel bus. Once in our room, I immediately fell face first, fully clothed, onto the bed. I fell asleep. Steven went downstairs to get something to eat. I don't remember at what point I checked our e-mail. Obviously we found out that Meazi tested negative for TB, and that we would be able to take the kids home on August 15th like we had planned. That was a good e-mail. I think I may have jumped up and down on the bed a few times at that point.

When I woke up, Steven was asleep. I decided to go down and get some coffee. My excitement was growing. There wasn't any time for sleeping now. This was a feeling that I wanted to be awake for. We were so close to meeting our M&m. I got into the elevator, and there was an American woman in there. I asked her what time it was and she said, "Almost 1:00 a.m." She told me that she was going downstairs to take the "Middle of the Night Tour of Dubai". This sounded fun to me, so I went back up to our room to wake up Steven. He groggily agreed that we should do it. It really would have been a shame to have gone all the way to Dubai and just seen the inside of that hotel room. A lovely man from India was our tour guide. The tour was from 1-3 am, and cost thirty bucks apiece. We were excited to see some of the sights in this bizarre, ostentatious city.




The tour was okay. It was pitch black, so there was only so much you could see. Many of the major buildings were lit up. Dubai is a strange place. It kind of reminded me of Las Vegas. The best part, by far, was going to the beach.

I remember standing there in the warm Arabian Sea, in the middle of the night, with my arms around Steven. I felt incredibly happy. I was reveling in our daughter's good news. There was nothing standing in our way now.

We came back to the hotel, had a bite to eat, took a shower, and got ready for the final leg of our journey. At six am we left for the airport. We were going to Ethiopia.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Meazi and Mommy Time

I didn't have time to write anything today. I was spending some one on one time with my daughter. This past week she said, "You always Melese, Melese, Melese...all over Melese!" I handed the Ergo over to Steven, and Meazi and I went out for some time alone.

Mickey Pancakes included...


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Just a few words on this Wordless Wednesday.

This is the outfit we sent to Melese in his care package. It doesn't fit him anymore.

I won't be handing it down. This one I'll be keeping....Forever.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

NaBloPoMo Day 10 ??

I think I am going to fail the NaBloPoMo challenge. I had planned to sit down and write some posts on Sunday. This is what I did instead...



Was this just a Wordless Tuesday? Does that count?

Monday, November 9, 2009

Dr. LaBootie, AKA The Statue Of Liberty.

Meazi is obsessed with the Statue of Liberty. At first I didn't know what on earth she was talking about because she pronounces "Statue of Liberty," "Dr. LaBootie." It started with this book...

In the book, a girl and her Abuela (Grandma) fly around NYC. They visit the Statue of Liberty.

For the past two weeks, it has been all about Dr. LaBootie. Hours and hours, and days and days, of questions. If you think about it, it is a hard thing to explain. "Mommy, Dr. LaBootie she is a woman?" "Lijoch (children) fall out of her head?" "Climb up her?" I posted on Facebook that I was having a hard time explaining the concept to Meazi. Here are some things that people suggested:

From Ms. Woo: Tell her she's the nation's first recognized drag queen. At least, that will be my starting point.

From Blueberry's Mom:
Social studies teacher says she is America's false promise.

From Marc: Giant Walmart greeter welcoming all imported folks from around the world.

I have witty friends.

Still, I wasn't getting anywhere. After four days we had finally established that The Statue of Liberty was not a real woman. This was a big step. However, we had a setback. DISCLAIMER: I sound exasperated here, but days before we had already established that she was not a real woman! I am usually really nice to her.



When Meazi heard that mommy and daddy had actually been to the Statue of Liberty together, she really wanted to see pictures.Unfortunately the person we asked to take our picture there, took a picture of the brick wall at the base of Lady Liberty. We could have been in an alley in east Los Angeles. Not a helpful picture. Not at all.

I pulled up every YouTube video I could find, but really they weren't great. Finally, this weekend we went to the library and got two books for kids about the statue. We also picked up Ken Burns' documentary.

Dad made burgers, and we had a special lunchtime viewing in the living room.


The movie wasn't great. Meazi was really interested in seeing the inside of the statue, "Stairs in her stomach mommy?" In the film, when they actually bring the camera into the statue, it is all in fast forward (Is that what the Ken Burns effect is? Truly annoying). Steven kept trying to freeze the frames so that we could give Meazi a realistic view of what it is like. Sigh.

Still, the movie and the books seemed to help Meazi grasp the size and breadth of the statue. She seemed to have a firmer grasp on the whole concept.

Until Steven decided to send us this picture from work ...

How the hell do I explain this?

Friday, November 6, 2009

Lose Weight While You Sleep....

Remember all of those ads, "Lose weight while you sleep?" I feel like co-sleeping has been the equivalent to that phrase in terms of attachment for us. In my opinion, co-sleeping is the easiest way to facilitate attachment with your adopted kiddos. You have to sleep, they have to sleep, you might as well cozy up together.


I have slept with Meazi and Melese every day since we have been together; at night, and at the beginning of every single nap. Steven, except for that difficult transition month where he slept many nights on the couch (primarily because we were not getting along, and we were passing pinkeye and ringworm back and forth) has also been sleeping in the family bed. I highly recommend this. Yes, it is true, you will most likely get kicked, punched, and peed on. It is worth it. I feel like it is an attachment "Gimme." Is that the term for when you get something for free without any effort? An attachment Freebie as it were.


We are still working out the kinks with the actual set up. We started with a queen sized bed, next to a twin bed, with a futon on top to cover the cracks a small person might fall into. That has changed because my little tortuga has become more mobile. We needed to take the bed off of the frame and lower it. Now we have mattresses and box springs together, with two bed rails at the foot.

I think it is worth trying. I know a lot of people say, "My child really does better in his own room," but I think everyone should at least attempt it. It is not always comfortable, it is not always easy, but I think you will find that it is completely worth it. I am not trying to be didactic, but I do feel strongly about this. Meazi and Melese were in orphanage rooms with at least a dozen other children for months. Before that they slept with brothers and sisters on straw, on the ground. They have never, ever, slept alone, and won't for some time.

There is something wonderful about being able to instantly soothe your child when they wake up in the middle of the night. There is something incredibly rewarding about a tiny arm flung around your neck, a small warm hand reaching for yours under the covers, and a gummy smile flashed at you in the early morning hours.


Maybe you are worried about your sex life? What is this word, "sex" that you refer to? Just kidding...sort of. Yes, it may put a small damper on your sex life, but there are ways around it. You most likely have other rooms in your house no? Or maybe you have a couch that pulls out? (Sorry to put that image into the heads of all of my-relatives-that-are-soon-to-be-coming-to-our-house-for the-holidays-and-need-to-sleep-on-the-hide-a-bed).

Does this sound preachy? I don't want it to. But maybe I can give someone who is considering it, the impetus to go ahead and give it a shot.

Meazi is a very restless sleeper. It takes her, for the most part, a very long time to fall asleep. After tossing, turning, and not sleeping, she will sometimes say, "Sleep on mommy's chest." She'll climb on me, put her head on my chest, and in the time it takes me to take three deep breaths, she'll fall fast asleep. I feel like I am her anchor, tethering her to the ground. I know that at those moments she, at least for a little while, feels completely safe.

Other benefits, the unused crib becomes a great receptacle for clean laundry, "Honey have you seen my blue shirt?" "Check the laundry crib." The unused crib can be used as a playroom, or a place to assemble a festive animal Conga line.


The toddler bed can still be utilized as well.


Nighty-Night.

Here is a link with a good list for creating a completely safe Family bed.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Backtrack...

I feel like the last three months have been a bit of a blur. I thought that since I decided (foolishly) to try and blog every day this month, I would go back to the time before our trip to Ethiopia.

In July we had that beautiful shower remember? So nice. So thoughtful. So much fun. My mom came out for it. When we had the opportunity to go with an earlier group to Ethiopia, we asked my mom to stay on and watch the pups. She did. My mom is amazing.

Our best friends also came out to help us celebrate and get ready...


Heather, my mom, and Neve helped me get the crib ready...

Mimi and Neve made sure the toddler bed was comfy...

And Teddy did everything he could to convince us that our lives were full enough without adding two children...


Mimi's mom helped us pack. This Heather could start a packing business. It was incredible. I have never seen anything like it. She folded, and maneuvered. She made extra room and went out and bought more donations for AHOPE. She also lent us all sorts of cool gadgets like travel blankets, and pillows...


Amy and LT came over and helped cheer Teddy up...


We were ready...

Of course, we use neither the crib nor the toddler bed, but that is another post.

I hope my friends and family know how grateful I am to them then, and now.


Next up...

Planes, Trains, and, Automobiles... well, maybe not trains.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Somehow, Someday

Saturday was Halloween. If you have struggled, or are currently struggling to have children, you don't need me to tell you that Halloween can be a sad day. Halloween brings all of your longing right up to the surface. It is a day when you repeatedly open the door to everything that you want, but can't seem to have.

People in your neighborhood may avoid your house altogether on Halloween. Maybe folks think you are those crazy 'dog people' with the three mutts living in under 700 square feet. Maybe they assume that a couple your age must not like children, or they would have had them by now. Maybe you stand outside your door waving children in,"We have candy!" like some desperate weirdo.

Maybe you have just had a miscarriage and the sight of all of those little pumpkins, all those little Buzz Lightyears, and all those tiny princesses, make you want to slit your wrists.

Maybe Halloween is a day that makes you want to stay in your pj's, and take that bag of Hershey's miniatures back to bed.

Saturday was not one of those days. It was not one of those days at all.

This Halloween day started with the six of us waking up together.

This day started with a smiley baby, and his silly sister who stole his costume.



This day started with blue skies, and crisp air. This day started with my daughter's first tricycle ride.


This day started with hot coffee and an egg 'samlich'.

This day was a Habesha Tortuga and a Beautiful Butterfly.



This day was parties, and games. This day was friends, and trick-or-treating. This day was pumpkins, and pinatas.

This day was unlike all of the other Halloweens.

Somehow, miraculously, there we were...

a family.


Somehow, after all these years, there was happiness on this day.

My heart was so full that I actually took flight.


If you are still struggling this time of year, hold on. It took us ten years. Somehow, miraculously, it has finally happened. May it finally happen for you too.

Somehow, Someday...

Soon.


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