Friday Friend or Family Feature... A Day Early...

Today's Feature is...

The Single Mom...


Ethiopia is changing its adoption policies for single women.


Are you guys skiers? When I was in junior high I joined the Snowflake Ski Club. On cold, Midwestern Saturdays, I would bundle myself into puffy, slippery ski clothing and get on a bus before dawn. The driver would proceed to drive us to one of the small man made humps north of Chicago. Tweens would spill out and grab their cumbersome ski equipment. I haven't been skiing in a long time, but back then we sometimes skied in pairs or groups. Occasionally one of us would gather speed and find ourselves at the bottom of the hill, exhilarated and ready to go again. I remember sliding up to the chairlift line by myself, "Single," I would shout as I raised my ski pole to indicate, that I, over here in the Mylar, would be needing a partner to accompany me in my chairlift. The ski mountain staff (and of course I use that term 'mountain' loosely, really should be molehill) didn't want to waste a perfectly good chairlift seat, and would encourage strangers to partner up saving time and energy. It was something that was both filled with excitement and dread. Who would I be paired up with? The cute boy skiing in jeans? The creepy older gentleman with the suspenders? A snot nosed ten year old? Occasionally I would end up next in line with no partner in sight. The attendant would shrug his shoulders and wave me over solo. Going up alone in the lift could be both frightening and freeing. You could sit smack dab in the middle if you wanted. You could swing your skis around, and spread your arms across the entire back of the seat. You could breathe in the cool air, take in the view, and thoroughly enjoy your solitude and freedom.



Does being partnered up make you a more desirable adoptive family? It shouldn't. I think that you can be single and be a wonderful parent. The fact that single women are now going to find it very difficult to adopt children from Ethiopia makes me really sad.



These are just a few of the incredible single moms that I have met in real life. They are strong, accomplished, and vibrant. They are excellent mothers. Their children are thriving in their care.

Last weekend I had the pleasure of having lunch with three other women who are waiting for their 'proposal' (referral). Two of them are single. During the lunch, one of the moms to be spoke about how she has never felt God's presence more than right now, during her adoption process. Her eyes welled up as she described how she felt that God was absolutely leading her to this child in Ethiopia. Last night I received an e-mail from her. The e-mail was electric. The hair on my arms stood up as I read it. It was the announcement of her daughter, her beautiful, smiley, Ethiopian daughter. Julie will make a fantastic mother. She is smart, funny, owns her own law firm, and has a family chock full of relatives looking forward to embracing its newest member. The idea that other women like Amy, Sam, Tami, Robbin, Haze, and this woman, may be denied an opportunity like this, really hurts my heart.

To my friends who are seeing their dreams deferred, I am sorry. I am thinking about you and your pain. I think that this is a truly unfortunate development.

If you need someone to ride the chairlift with, give me a call. I would be honored to sit next to you, but absolutely understand if you would prefer to ride up alone.

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