Thursday, July 31, 2008

Eloquent Wrestler...

Remember when I wrote this post in May?

Remember Stage Four?

'Fourth Stage: HARSH REALITY/ ETHICAL QUESTIONING. A lot of these children up for adoption are not necessarily orphans. In fact a lot of them have TWO parents, a mom and a dad. They have siblings. They are being relinquished because their family can no longer afford to feed them. They will be, by your adopting them, taken from their country, their family and the only lives they have ever known. Their losses will be enormous. This is where it starts to get tricky. This is where you start wrestling a lot. " If I really cared about Ethiopia, I would take these thousands of dollars in adoption fees and bring them immediately to the organization that would do everything in their power to preserve this Ethiopian family." These thousands of dollars could keep many Ethiopian families intact. Which brings me to my next stage...'

Well apparently Nicky is wrestling too, but in a much more eloquent way. Here is her post. The comments are worth reading as well. Except for mine. I can't say anything insightful right now.

Right now, I am too busy doing my emotional wrestling with God, (if he exists).

I am wondering why he is letting my husband's mother suffer so much.

I did wrestle the teff though...

Now what do I do with it?


  1. You and that crazy teff. I am so impressed, even at this stage!
    I am sorry you are dealing with such hard stuff, especially when major joy is right round the corner for you and Steven.
    Thinking of you!!

  2. I'm going right over to Nicky's blog to read...(but, I should actually be doing work, so don't tell my boss). I understand wrestling with the idea of God, I've done much of that. Especially in your family's circumstances right now, I don't much blame you at all...



  3. Nicky has summed up well.

    The thing is, when you get yourself put on the list, you have to be prepared for your future children to come from a variety of different circumstances. Sometimes, the moral dilemma is a big one, sometimes it's clear and obvious. (which is how it turned out for us) Plus, you have to be ok to be a part of the system. And for many, that's too hard, even to become a parent.

    I especially appreciated Shelley's comment over there about how complicated the situation can be, with social limitations that are beyond our comprehension but that we must live with if that limit is why we have our children.

  4. Wow - awesome post and thanks so much for the link to Nicky's truly eloquent and thoughtful post on the topic. it's a toughie for all of us.

  5. Julie, I just finished reading the new Eckhart Tolle book, on finding your life's purpose, or whatever. Have you read it? I don't agree with all of it, of course, and some parts are downright annoying but... it sort of did something for me. Helped to make sense on some level of why we humans suffer so much. I've struggled so much with this topic myself. The book for me fells like sort of a jumping off point into an "answer." Check it out, tell me what you think.

  6. I'm sorry Chris is suffering so much. I'm sorry you are wrestling with God so much. I totally think you can take him. Nicky's post & comments were great - thanks.

    I don't KNOW the answer to the teff question, but I saw lots of yellow/straw looking dried out teff being transported by donkeys, presumably to be pounded in big mortar/pistle things. It appears as though you are on the right track spreading it out like that.

  7. The teff is out of hand, crazy!
    Our driver told us the stuff the donkeys were carrying (man they were strong) was to patch the roofs of the huts, especially during the rainy season when they leak. But I have no idea if it was teff, I think they must have been different donkeys :)
    Or maybe you are building a hut in your backyard?

    Thanks for introducing me to Nicky's blog and her post. Ive blogged about this subject before because it is so tough to figure out. Its interesting to read her thoughts.
    I hope your own wrestling isnt keeping you up at night...peacefull vibes heading your way....

  8. I am so sorry your family is suffering. I know this is a difficult time. You are never far from my thoughts.