Steven and I have decided, that if for some reason the Ethiopia program shuts down, we will finally give up on our dreams of expanding our human family. (How many times does one have to be hit on the head before one gets the message?) I feel anxious about this lately. I would not be surprised if Americans become ineligible to adopt from Ethiopia. Why do I think this? The program is growing by leaps and bounds. Look at
this...
Whenever a country program grows so quickly, it is almost inevitable that bad things begin to happen. Lots of money changes hands, corruption begins to happen, ethics start to go out the window. Many people who are trying to adopt internationally are finding that they are being shut out of several countries.
People are coming in droves to the Ethiopia program. I am a member of an online community for people adopting from Ethiopia. Many people who work for agencies are being asked some disgusting questions. For example, someone asked…
"Can you recommend an agency that places lighter skinned babies from Ethiopia?”
WHAT is WRONG with THESE people?
It’s Africa!
Please, please, please do not attempt to adopt an African child if you are not comfortable with the color of that child’s skin. It truly makes me sick.
It is, right now, still relatively easy to adopt from Ethiopia. The wait times, though quickly increasing, are short comparatively. I believe that our agency is working in an ethical manner. I believe that they are doing things for the people of Ethiopia. I believe that they are placing children as an absolute last resort. I hope that I am right, and I hope that if this changes, we will know.
I feel today that it could go either way for us. We may, in a year or so, be at home with two small kiddos. We may remain childless. There really is no way of knowing for sure.
I am anxious.
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I used to have posts on my blog that were exactly like this,(posted around the time of the Zoe's Ark, Chad child-trafficking in E. Africa headlines) only much less concise, well-written, and to the point. Because they contained so many extranneous facts and examples of why I was sure that that the whole thing would shut down any minute, I removed them for fear of the alleged blog monitors' dissapproval of my negativity.
ReplyDeleteBUT I no longer think that the whole thing will shut down soon. I think that you and I will get through it. I think that the US agencies and the Ethiopian government have learned from the experiences of other countries. I think that the reason we hear so many stories about things that could possibly cause the program to shut down is because there are so many people working to manage the explosion, police the ethics, and make sure that does not happen. I am a pessimist, and worry that it may still be inevitable. But I still think that people applied to a program right now will get through it.
I hear you on the how many signs do you need before you get the message thing. If Ethiopia closes, I will end my efforts to be a parent. I'm sure that there are a million other ways I could go about it, but I'll be done.
Sorry this is not a "Don't be anxious, everything will be fiiiiiine" comment, but when people say "I'm sure everything will be fine" I have to try really hard not to say, "Really? What makes you sure? Do you have one single fact to back that up? Did you really even think about it before you said it?"
I'm anxious too, and I don't think that there's anything we can do about it. Some days I'm sure it will never happen. Some days I'm supremely confident that it will. Today, I think it will. Eventually.
Thank you for this post and comment from Katy.
ReplyDeleteThe other day on the large Ethiopian adopt group there was this question:
"What agencey would place an infant girl the quickest?" or something like that.
There are levels of ignorance I have alot of trouble stomaching. Light skinned, dark skinned- it will be different than yours whatever shade it is. What are these people doing?
I am totally putting my trust into the agencey I saved five years to afford. My gut feelings tell me they were the best choice for us, and I truly hope I'm right on this one.
Thank you for sharing, your writing is right on point.