Tuesday, February 15, 2011

18 Months

We have been home, as a family or four, for eighteen months. I have a big post in my head, but don't have the time, or energy to spit it out tonight. I started getting up really early, 4 am early, in an effort to write a bit before the kiddos get up. Inevitably, Meazi somehow senses that I am awake. I hear the slap, slap, slap, of her bare feet in the hallway, and then I see her groggy, naked, self (except for her silky pink sleep cap), round the corner to join me on the couch. She then says the same thing she says to me every time she finds me attempting to write something, "Mommy, since I haven't really been getting a chance to do Starfall at school as much as I used to may I do some now on your computer?" Starfall is this, and she digs it. I usually say no at first, and then cave from the relentless asking.

Then I just kind of watch over her shoulder as she plays- too late to go back to bed, too early to do anything other than sit there. I start the coffee and think about what kind of yummy processed foodstuffs I can cram into her eco-friendly lunch box for school.

Melese rounds that hallway corner shortly after, clad in his hand-me-down H.A jammies that he now calls his "sun volt" because Steven started calling him that the first time he wore it. The orange and yellow stripes indeed make him look like walking sunlight.  He tears his black silky sleep cap off his head and tosses it on the ground just like that peddler in Caps For Sale. He joins me on the couch, wraps his arms around my neck and says his first word of the day, "Mommy."

They really are something, these two. I know that most parents feel like their children hung the moon, but I think there may be actual scientific evidence indicating that these two, were indeed responsible.


What would I have liked to say if it weren't 11:19 pm, and I weren't about four minutes away from completely dozing off?


 That 18 months feels a lot different than six months. That I am a lucky person. That I would have waited another ten years to have the gift of these children in my life. That I don't deserve them. That I fail them. That I'll keep on trying. That I love them so, so much.

I have to go to bed now. Goodnight, and Keep on Truckin'.

23 comments:

  1. Beautiful. And you DO deserve them. And a mother who writes this about her children and loves them the way you do could never fail them...ever.

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  2. So beautiful - your post, your family. Love it all.

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  3. Happy 18 Months, Sweet Family! You may not have had time to say it all, but what you do say says a heck of a lot. Thank you for sharing this journey with us and giving so many of us a glimpse into our own futures. XO

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  4. Love this whole post...and I have the same starfall requests from 2 kiddos whenever I get on the computer...but I'm not as nice as you!

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  5. I know that feeling of how it feels so different than it did at 6 months home. For me, it's just not knowing how to put it into words.

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  6. Your babies are amazing.
    Happy 18 months to all 4 of you : )

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  7. You are so beautiful Julie. I love how you love your children.

    I love your posts because you live your life and write about your life so honestly. They help me. Thank you.

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  8. This is only the beginning. It will get even better!! And I'm already excited for you!

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  9. Choked me right up. Keep on truckin' indeed.

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  10. I love this because 1-you write what we all think/feel/hope only you say it so much more eloquently than we most of us can 2-and because it reminds me that tomorrow is 18 months for us as a family of 4 also. wow. 18months. wow congratulations to all of us!

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  11. is it weird that i just spent five minutes on Starfall? And where did you get the most perfect backpack ever? you should sell meazi keep on truckin' bumper stickers to raise money!

    i love this post. i love your babes. i love how melese is emerging more in your blog. i love your family so much.

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  12. Happy 18 months beautiful family of four!

    It was so good to go back and read your post from 6 months - last night I was talking to my mom and she said you should read Julie's blog from when they first came home again.

    We will not evaluate until 6 months!

    Um, it is way harder than I ever thought it would be...and I thought it would be hard!

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  13. I admire you SO much!! You are such a beautiful mama :) Happy 18 months!

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  14. Happy 18 months!

    My early morning writing time has slowly disappeared as well...

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  15. Oh, Julie, you have to stop with these amazing, heartwarming, beautiful posts. 18 months!!!! I can hardly believe how time flies. At the same time, you all look as though you have been together forever. Reading this made me so happy. Lots of love your way!

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  16. You know, I just noticed your referral date in the sidebar the other day, and thought, "How is it possible that was almost 2 years ago?" So along those lines - 18 months! It seems like that 6 month post was just a few weeks ago.

    Lucky, yes, aren't we all... and I agree, we don't deserve them, we never do. Well, except for the moments when they are being rotten... then we deserve them a little. :)

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  17. I love seeing how your family is growing and melding. It is so beautiful! You are about 5 months ahead of us, so it's good to see the progress. And my Grace loves Starfall too!!

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  18. Happy 18 months! I agree with S: there's no such thing as mother fail when it comes to how palpably you love your son and daughter.

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  19. keep on truckin indeed. time flies my friend.

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  20. btw, what silky caps do you use, and how do you get them to keep them on?

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  21. Congrats on 18 months as a family! Love your blog and the photos of your kiddos - they are gorgeous.

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  22. So sweet! Happy for you, as always. :)

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