Thursday, December 16, 2010

Daddy Can Wear His Suitcase, You'll Wear That White Dress...

When Meazi was first learning English, she spent about two full months being obsessed with our wedding. She talked about it all the time. She looked at the photo albums. She watched the video we have. She told me that she wished she could have been there. I spent months muttering to myself indignantly, "Just another thing adopted kids miss! They don't even get to go to their parents' wedding!" I realize now, that this was a ridiculous thought that I had, and that kids don't get to be at their parents' wedding (unless it is a second marriage or something). I don't know why I temporarily forgot that biological kids miss this day too. In a way they are there though aren't they? All of their cells and parts 'to be' are present in the bodies of their mom and dad. Maybe they are just a little sparkle in their mom's eye, but in a way, I feel like they get to be there. Obviously not a major issue, but the fact that she was so sad about it made me sad.

We had the pleasure of going to Santa Fe over Thanksgiving. I originally had a big idea of getting Steven to renew our vows so that Meazi and Melese could get a small glimpse of what our wedding was like. Steven, because of work, only had two full days in Santa Fe. The kids and I flew out on Tuesday. On Wednesday night at 8:30 pm, Steven left work, picked up Teddy, and drove 13 plus hours to meet us in New Mexico. He left Sunday morning to get back in time for work. That, combined with the fact that Steven looked at me like I was crazy when I suggested renewing our vows, made me drop the idea. I had, however, checked to see if the same judge was available. It turns out he has a blog (is there anyone who doesn't have a blog at this point?).

We had a chance to take Meazi and Melese to the rooftop where we wed. The picture above is where our reception was. There was a family in there who had also snuck in through the kitchen to check it out. We told them that this was where our wedding had been. They asked if we would recommend it for their wedding. Steven looked at them and said, "Well, we are still married." They took this as a good sign. Meazi asked about the reception, and Steven told her about the dinner, and the speeches, and how papa dressed up like Elvis. He told her again about Mark's speech and how Mark told us to always look to the people present when we needed support and love.

Melese slept through the entire thing. Maybe it was the altitude. While we were there I was remembering how Meazi thought men wore 'suitcases' for special occasions. Her English has come a long way.

I was grateful for the opportunity to fill in our family's history with more than words and pictures. I was grateful for the opportunity to hold my children in my arms in that special spot. But Steven, if you change your mind, I always thought you looked quite handsome in that suitcase and I wouldn't mind putting on that white dress again, (although it would have to be let out). Imagine how cute the flower girl would be...

And the ring bearer...


  1. Hey, speak for yourself - MY adopted child WILL be at my wedding! And she has already claimed the flower girl role for herself. ;)

    Hope you get to re-enact the whole thing for Meazi someday...

  2. I love hearing how interested in your wedding Meazi was - and that you were able to take her to the very spot and help her understand it more. We have never been back to our wedding spot, but I can imagine us doing that in the future with our children. Fun!

    (And I love Liz's comment above!)

  3. I love Meazi's toothless smile.

  4. What's the deal with you? You make me cry left and right. Today was a little tearing up, but yesterday was a full blown ugly. I think renewing vows is a big deal. We talked about it last year, but I just don't think either of could bear that kind of emotion in front of others. It's so different now than the first time around. We have been through so much together. I do think of doing some kind of ceremony with baby sister when she comes home. I think a renewal of vows would be lovely. Talk about ugly cry, don't even tell me about it.

  5. The only thing more romantic than a good wedding would be a vow renewal with those sweet kiddos there.

    Can I make a request, that the center pieces on the tables involve m&ms?


  6. I vote for him to wear a suitcase costume next Halloween!
    I didn't know you were married in Santa Fe. Something very magical there don't you think? The air is special. We love it too.

  7. Please take a step in and enter the word church of Julie. You will start to think about all kinds of moving moments in your life and how you can re-live and re-purpose them in a way you had not imagined before.

    Need your eyes opened? Enter the word church of Julie where hearts and minds collide.

    Tshirts, bumper stickers, coffee mugs, water bottles, hats etc. coming to a store near you. Isn't that how Life is Good got started. I could be a millionaire in a year. Retire-jackpot! Glad we got that solved and apparently I'll be going back to Ireland in a few years to renew my vows with a teenager and toddler in tow.

  8. I love this. And I am hopeful to do the same. And I see in our future a daughter who has the capability to be happy with our union. RIght now, she'd prefer it just be her and me. But, I see a light:)

  9. And I wish I could comment to comments... I love Christine's - what is it with you:)

  10. Beautiful. And I really enjoyed reading your 2007 blog post about your mom. You both are spectacular mothers.


  11. Caroline loves to hear about our wedding...when I asked Jud about renewing with the kids all present, he looked at me with that "whyareyousoflippingcrazyareyouoffyourmeds" sort of look so I dropped it. But maybe some day.

  12. I think it's a wonderful idea. I want to renew our vows with Nathan and our kids present one day. I think it's so sweet that you took them back to the spot. Love this!

  13. It was a fabulous wedding week-end, and we felt privileged to be there. How often do you get a chance to see Elvis show up at a wedding?!

    Actually, two of my nieces and one nephew had their babies attend their weddings. They waited 'til after baby to be sure of their decision. It's the new way??

    I vote for renewing your vows. We did it for our 40th at the church where we were married in St. Louis. All the kids/grankids were there. Even more meaningful than the first time.

  14. This is totally not related to this post, but to the library / school stuff: Is there any way I can donate using paypal? I'm sorry that I can't seem to work this out myself - I blame the virus.


    ps i was always VERY cranky that I didn't get to go to my parents' wedding. It just didn't seem fair, somehow!