Monday, February 1, 2010

Generating Light

A picture must possess a real power to generate light... Henri Matisse

Last week was a really heavy week at our house. Meazi has been talking a lot about death and dying. She has questions. She has memories. She is sharing every detail. It is an intense time for us. For some reason I thought we would have more time before this happened. My friends assure me that this is a good sign, and that Meazi must really trust us. Steven and I steel ourselves, and scramble to get it together to help her find the answers she needs.

On Sunday, we took the kids to their first museum. It was a beautiful day. I fully believe in the restorative, healing powers of art. I was so excited for Meazi to experience this . (Truthfully, the only way we could convince her to go was by telling her there was sculpture, or "statues" at the museum).

Melese's eyes were even bigger than they normally are...

Meazi got to create her own art...

The heavy haze of hard conversation lifted a bit.

And Meazi, showing that she fits right in with the rest of the plebes in this family, slapped a Rodin on the ass and exclaimed loudly, "BUTTOCKS!!"

Picasso, Matisse, Magritte, Moore, Kandinsky etc. What a moving thing it is to see a child see these for the first time.

If you ask Meazi though, she will tell you three things, "I got to drink lemonade, skip my nap, and really where were all of the green statues?" Apparently nothing compares to Lady Liberty. We'd better figure out a way to get ourselves to New York soon.

I think we may have generated enough light to get us through another week.

If you live in LA, and don't already know, LACMA is free for all children under 17.


  1. You are doing such a fabulous job being her Mommy and helping her to heal. I'm taking tedious notes, mind you! :-) (So watch as I start to steal all your ideas here in a few months.)

  2. Yes, I'm taking notes too. How I love Meazi.

  3. I'm so glad you found some much needed light.

  4. Glad for some healing time amidst a tough week. I love your family. Thinking about you all in this questioning time. Your kiddos are beautiful!

  5. You two are amazing me as you gentle envelope your children through the many facets of who they are and what it all means. Thank God you two are generating light for her. In admiration, good job.

  6. If you really do schedule a trip to NYC, let me know. I would love to have J experience it (first times-ies) with other brown first timers.

    It will get better but it never gets easy.

  7. the fact that this all effects you so deeply speaks volumes. Your ability to connect with your sweet girl...your ability to mother her in every way SHE needs ... her ability to open up completely, honestly. She KNOWS you aren't going anywhere and she can unburden her soul to you. This is amazing.
    I'm sure its also an amazingly painful process for you and Steven.
    But makes me so happy, the family you have created.

  8. Sweetness is all around you :-) Julie, the road of parenting is full of moments that aren't expected, even when you do expect them. Shine the light, mama!

  9. What's up with the missing shoe? :)

    Sending light wishes your way...

  10. Beautiful. Just beautiful. More hugs as you continue to help and love Meazi ...

  11. How wonderful. Meazi is amazing. You all are!

  12. it never ceases to amaze me how much Meazi looks like you!! have such a parallel energy...almost like you two share a "spiritual tribe".(do you ever get that feeling with people?) I get the feeling that she see this too...that she knows you so well as to trust you so completely with her heart. It is a beautiful thing that she shares her history with you...that she doesn't feel the need to retreat to some inner place. when my nephew (adopted at age 9) began to share some of his life with me...his fears, and worries...veiws of shook me to my core. but at the same time it bonded us in a way that nothing else could have. he let me in....she is letting you in. what a place to grow from:)

    in love,

  13. Ooh - death and dying. If you figure out the big answers to these questions, please let me know. I'm still searching for the answers myself.

  14. Some people, some lives, some families, some hearts are just these amazing living, breathing, walking, talking stained glass windows. You and Yours - Amazing, Inspiring, Loving, Gorgeous, Profound, Engaging, Honest and Soulful Works of Art.

    You are masterpieces individually and together - you generate light.

    A powerful and thoughtful light into my world that has and will forever change me.

  15. Oh, Julie. I love that you went to such a beauty-filled place with the kids. And the smacking of the ass and the cry of 'buttocks!' oh she is precious. You are blooming, you and your family.

  16. That the little piece of lively beauty herself might recognize a decent pair of buns is terrific and fitting.

    Happy to know that light is creeping in where shadows have cast their weight.


  17. I understand and I know. Here's to light.

  18. i love this. i love that you are all finding ways you fit together. it's wonderful.