Thursday, May 29, 2008


Not mine! Got your attention eh?

This week 29 families on the unofficial agency list received their referrals. This list represents about 1/3 to 1/2 of the families waiting. There were four sets of multiples, including a set of triplets! This is the second triplet referral in two years.

The first set can be seen in all their beautiful triplet glory here. Having a bad day? Watch some of Supermom Cindy's home videos of her boys. Radiohead and toddler boys, what could be more captivating? I especially like the one when the boys are just getting up in the morning.(Wakey! Wakey!)

When I mentioned to Steven that we had moved up almost 30 spaces on the list he almost fainted. When I told him about the triplets, I had to sit him down and get him a glass of water. He stammered,"I'm nnnnot reeeeady." It is weird when it starts feeling less esoteric. I called my social worker and asked her if it was likely we would get a referral before court closure. She wasn't sure. (For those of you who don't know, the courts in Ethiopia close down for a couple of months. There will most likely be no list movement until October).

It is an exciting time but (okay here comes the Debbie Downer) it seems to me that this influx must be directly related to the current tragedy unfolding in Ethiopia. I realize agencies try to facilitate a larger number of referrals because of the closure, but this number 29 seems staggering to me, especially if it is only representative of 1/3 or 1/2 of the families. Loss and joy interwoven, can't quite get my head around it.

This week, more than any other, I have felt censored in what I want to share. I wish I could tell you about an experience I had while working on Stage Nine. Does Blogger have a way to just password protect one post? I don't want to make this blog private, but I feel like there are so many things I can't talk about. It is probably just as well. I should just keep my mouth shut. I'll try to come up with a way to be less cryptic without ruffling anyone's feathers.


  1. Excellen post, Julie, excellent!
    Thank you.

  2. sure would like to hear your thoughts during stage nine! i've been thinking the same thing about the incredible numbers of referrals - wondering how it will be handled over there...

  3. Wow - 29 referrals. Are you looking at that FBI list of sorts on Google? Or is there another list I should be aware of?

    I agree with you: the issue of tragedy bringing more children to homes out of necessity is definitely perplexing. BTW, I've just started "There is No Me Without You" and wow, can't put it down already. (except when I am forced to go to work...gah...)

    If you'd like to vent, I am mighty interested now in knowing your censored thoughts. I'm a good secret keeper too. You could email me...?


  4. I had never read the stages post. It was very good.

    Thanks for the great post.

  5. We have had a surge of referrals at WHFC as well and I find it difficult. Even my own referral came more quickly than I thought it would. The draught, the lack of food...equals the influx of children being placed for adoption. It is a very difficult subject to wrap our brains around. I often find myself wanting to blog more politically, and definately more about economics. But I feel I must wait until my little guy is home, because at this point thats all I want- for him to be here with us. If you find a way to password protect one post let me know. I really hate it when people make their blogs private, I understand it, but I find it frustrating.
    Are you homestudied for the chance of triplets? Or would you not even get that call? Just curious...

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  7. I just deleted my own comment. Brilliant. Also, apparently I set my blog up to block anonymous comments? Sorry Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous. I will try to change that.

    Cindy- I was talking about our agency's unofficial list. What is the FBI List? Do tell!

    Anna- Our homestudy says up to two so I think, much to Steven's relief, we would not have been presented with triplets.

  8. Reading your posts is like re-reading my thoughts at this same time last year. Emotions are all over the board and you feel like there is nowhere to really speak freely amongst people who understand what you're going through. Do you have the energy to set up a second, private blog to air your thoughts without feeling censored? Try to hang in there-- it sounds like your husband is an amazing support.


  9. you know, I really have that issue too, I would like to just say everything and anything, but at the same time I always sort of censor myself because ANYONE could read my blog, now, later, etc.

    I didn't realize that you were so close to referral! Wow! Exciting, despite the sadness at the root of all referrals.

  10. I don't think I am close to referral. I figured out that there are at least 10 families ahead of us waiting for siblings. I don't think there were ten sibling referrals all of last year.

  11. I think you should helps us all think in new ways. And, you are closer today than last week.

  12. There were 10 families waiting for siblings in front of us once too. I really don't mean that to sound smarmy, or like don't worry about it. I mean it in the it-takes-f'ing-forever and it sucks way. And the more time it takes the more time you have to think and learn about the how and the why and that sucks and is also good. Why I can't string together a sentence that makes sense right now - I don't know. I would LOVE to hear about your thoughts/experiences that you are wisely concerned about sharing, if you feel like writing it out and sending it to me. I used to write whiny emails to our social worker and then delete them. Sometimes I sent them to Jamie at the battlestation instead. It made me feel better to send it somewhere. Don't know why.

  13. Katy- I hope this post didn't sound like I was complaining about the wait. I am not doing that YET. The sudden rapid movement of the list has just stirred up some weird feelings. Is it anxiety, guilt, fear, excitement? Yes, to all of the above.

  14. Please talk. I am brand new to Ethiopian adoption and a friend sent me your stages post. Loved it. Since then I've been reading your blog so I thought I'd introduce myself. Anyway, I love your honesty and humor and insight. Please keep writing!