Dear Meazi and Melese,Today is August 2nd. One year ago we were packing our bags for Ethiopia. These giraffe chairs were empty. We were full of anticipation.
Meazi, you just finished summer school last week. We sent you for nineteen mornings and one full day, because we wanted you to get used to your new school. We thought it would ease the transition to Kindergarten. I realize now that I did this for me. I am the one who needs the easing. The thought of you going off into the big wide world of school has thrown me for a loop. Yes, all parents must feel this way. I bet a lot of parents cry on the first day of Kindergarten. It is more than that though. I feel like I just met you. I feel like we are just working it out.
Last week was a tough week for us. Your behavior was challenging, and I really lost it. I cried, called your father, called a therapist, it was a doozy. Today I am going to try to remember one thing:
We will never have this August back. This month is our time to be together. This month is our time before cliques, and school lunches, and learning to read. Today I will remember to hold you tight, to be more patient, and to work on letting you go a bit. It will be very hard because all I really want to do is freeze you at this very moment. I love you. You are a phenomenal girl.
Melese,
I just got out of bed where I was wedged between you and your sister. Last night I enjoyed it very much when you flung your small arm around my neck and gave me a squeeze. What I didn't enjoy was your little feet kicking my ribs all night. I know you do this with your feet to make sure I am still there. I am. I am not going anywhere. Melese, I know this August is significant for you too. At the end of the month, the person you love most in the world will be around a lot less. It is okay. We are going to have fun on our own. I love you. You are a phenomenal boy.
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Behemoth lump in my throat just lodged there, holding back an epic gusher. Beautiful, Julie.
ReplyDeleteCindy
Beautiful mama, just beautiful!
ReplyDeleteoh it is sooo hard to let go isn't it?
ReplyDeleteSo very sweet. Love this.
ReplyDeletei hate opening up my kids to the influence of the world. because there is as much ugly as there is beautiful. and i don't like not being there when they are exposed to it all, to either share the beauty with them or filter the bad.
ReplyDeletemaybe i make too much of sending a kid off to kindergarten, but i am with you: it seems monumental to me.
i am so glad i have one more year before my baby girl goes off into the big world.
Melese will miss big sister, but you guys will have a good time too.
Beautiful! I remember the post of the chairs back when he bought them. It is nuts to realize how far and how fast. It is too fast. TOO FAST! Most people get 5 years to prep for school... we lose a bit of that. Hugs and strength to you from the other side of this land mass.
ReplyDeleteblogger keeps eating my comments. but i'll keep trying.
ReplyDeletei love your blog, and i love your writing. but sometimes it makes me want to just quit blogging. because everything i could possibly say is said better here. by you.
and i mean that in the best possible way.
(this is p from HabeshaChild, btw, even though i can't seem to comment under that ID)
Beautifully written...and thanks for the reminder that we only get to hold them this tightly for a short time.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet letter. I love your honesty and emotional with-it-ness. Beautiful life, friend.
ReplyDeletetears.
ReplyDeleteLovely post!
ReplyDeleteRuth
Letting go so soon after just holding on...very hard...enjoy August :)
ReplyDeleteahhhhhh, so bittersweet. Seeing them in those chairs, though, is pure pure sweet.
ReplyDeleteawwww this is so sweet. im trying not to cry now.
ReplyDeleteDear M & M's mom, you are a phenomenal mom.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking the same things about kindergarten...is she ready? how will she be influenced? am I ready? I will miss her terribly. yuck.
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