Friday Friend or Family Feature...

Today's Feature is...

Fortune!


We met Fortune several years ago here. Fortune is an artist. If you have ever been to the Venice boardwalk, you know that it is no place to sell your art. It is wall-to-wall people...


One misstep by a slippery, sun-screened skateboarder can wipe out years of work. I read somewhere that Venice Beach is the second largest tourist destination in California next to Disneyland. While that may mean the occasional sale to a tourist, it is still a very difficult way to succeed as an artist. This recent article from the Los Angeles Times explains some of the challenges.

We would see Fortune frequently wheeling in his work, setting up, and settling in for a long, hot day in the sun. We bought this from him...

It looks exactly like the four hundred square foot house we lived in, in New Mexico. The painting cost about forty dollars.

A few years later, we were participants here.

Fortune's booth was two booths away from ours.

We commiserated about the inebriated festivals goers who really had no interest in purchasing anything.



Here is what Fortune says about his work...

"I want to foster an awareness of the conditions suffered by South Africans, who create makeshift shelters by optimizing outside space and leftover materials - metal, tires, stones, etc., whatever they can find to build their homes.

Fashioning my work as homage to my ancestors, family and community, these pieces are a reminder of the day-to-day life in black South African townships. But shanties exist throughout the world and my art actually tells a story of the universality of poverty.

The characters in my scenes are about communities who have overcome adversity and have progressed into the 21st century. Complex dimensions allow a peek down streets at women washing clothes, children playing, girls braiding hair and wandering drunken fathers. Pictures of everyday events, ironically set against the backdrop of vivid dawns and dusks, reflect the darker issues of economic enslavement, discrimination, poverty and hardships.

Shanties are slowly disappearing from South Africa’s landscape. Redevelopment and investment begin to paint a brighter picture for the future of South Africans, an encouraging example for the people of the world who are experiencing poverty today."

I find Fortune's art absolutely breathtaking. You really have to see them in real life to appreciate them fully. They are three dimensional. The work is vibrant.



I am happy to announce that Fortune has moved off of the boardwalk, and into Equator Books.



This bookstore is showing his work through May 30th. If you are in Los Angeles go check it out. Be sure to go on the first Friday of the month for extra festivities.

If you are not in LA, you can see more of his art here.


How will my adoption impact Fortune? I believe Fortune's art will have an impact on my children. This it what my kids will see when they wake up in the morning...


Maybe it will remind them of where they came from. Maybe it will make them think of their birth mom. Maybe it will make them long for what they have left behind. Fortune knows a little bit about that. His wife and children still live in South Africa. He sure does wish it were easier for them to come visit him. It sure would have been nice for them to see their dad in his big, incredible art gallery opening.

I can't wait to bring my kids to Fortune's studio. It is a magical place. There are coke cans, and soup cans. There are piles of sand and bags of rocks. There are little cut-out figures lying around, people, dogs, wheel barrels. Just walking in there makes you want to get your hands dirty and create something. In Fortune my kids will see a man who has worked very hard to achieve his goals. They will see a man who struggled, and is still struggling with racism and persecution. They will see a man who has dedicated his life to fostering an awareness of the universality of poverty. They will see a man generous in spirit. There is a kind of warmth that radiates from Fortune. You can see it in that very first picture. You can really feel it in person.

Congratulations Fortune. We are so proud of you.

Pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd...

This coming Sunday and Monday, April 13th and 14th, there will be an Ethiopian conference at Harvard. Here is the link. The keynote speakers are Rebecca Haile and her father Dr.Getatchew Haile. They will be giving a presentation called, "Unto the Second Generation: Dual Perspectives on the Ethiopian Diaspora."

Steven and I had the opportunity to hear these two speak. I highly recommend that you give them a listen if you have the chance.


Rebecca was extremely helpful and welcoming to us. I hadn’t read her book yet, and really wished I had (I have just finished part I). Her book is all about identity issues. Here is a review from Henry Louis Gates Jr.,

"Part travelogue, part history, part memoir, Rebecca Haile's Held at a Distance shines a bright and unique light on Ethiopia, a country in whose fortunes we as Americans and Westerners have been concerned for some time, but which remains in large part a mystery to many of us. Today, Ethiopia, for far too many people, is synonymous with poverty and warfare; but for generations of African Americans, it was the font of black civilization itself, the spiritual source of visions of a united and prosperous Pan-Africa, the living testament to the glories that were Black Africa. In her bold new book, Haile moves far beyond the one-dimensional headlines that encapsulate Ethiopia in the Western press to provide as rich and nuanced a portrait of her native land as I have seen. It's an important and beautifully written volume."

Rebecca’s story is harrowing and heart breaking. In Los Angeles, when I saw her father I thought naively, 'oh, he is in a wheel chair because he is getting on in years'. Not at all the case. In fact his paralysis is the result of the violence he experienced in Ethiopia.

The two of them, like any father and daughter, or any two people born of different generations, are not in total agreement on every issue. What was evident, however, was the great love and respect they have for one another. This love between Rebecca and her father was palpable. The way that they looked at each other was something beautiful to behold. He was so proud of her, and she too, was in awe of him.




We also had the opportunity to speak to Elias Wondimu of Teshadi publishers. He will also be at the Harvard event. His company publishes and carries some great books about Ethiopia. Here is his link. Tsehai may be quite helpful for adoptive families looking for additional resources. He too, was warm and helpful to us.

If you still need a reason to go, this guy will be there too.



His name is Dinaw Mengestu. His book, The Beautiful Things That Heaven Bears, was very good. His writing is lovely, and it is a good peek into an immigrant's view of life in America. It takes place in Washington D.C.


Steven and I got a lot out of the event we attended. One of the things that I learned by sitting in a room full of Ethiopian immigrants is that there is a longing; a deep, heart breaking yearning to see Ethiopia thrive as a democracy. There was loss in that room. There was loss of language, culture, religion and country. These are huge loses that I can’t even wrap my mind around. There is a great sadness in having left something behind. There is a constant struggle to connect with the past, while simultaneously moving towards the future. This is something our kids will have to face, and as Rebecca said, "It is very difficult, very, very difficult.”


I mentioned that all of these people were warm, welcoming and helpful to us. They all seemed to support Americans adopting kids from Ethiopia.(I guess if they weren’t okay with it, they would probably have kept it to themselves). The one thing that a panel speaker DID have a problem with, was the time spent in Addis. He found it appalling that an American family would fly to Addis Ababa and spend only one week. He flies back and forth constantly from Los Angeles to Addis, and said that the kids coming back with their adoptive parents are completely traumatized. He thought that Ethiopian children needed a lot more transition time. I know it isn’t feasible for most American families to spend a long time in Ethiopia; people have jobs, other kids, responsibilities and commitments. The adoption agencies don't allow you to spend any more time with your kids. This man confirmed my suspicions that you really won’t learn much about Ethiopia by spending only a few days in Addis Ababa. He told us to travel out of the city as much as we could, and to spend as much time in Ethiopia as possible.


The event is not all heavy academic-ey lectures! There’s music and art too!

(I think this post may be irrelevant because the only New Englander that I know who reads this blog already knows all about the event. Katy, please tell us how it was.)

Would you place children with this animal...

Wat's Cookin ?

A couple of months ago, I made my first attempt at Ethiopian cooking...



It was pretty easy because I got the berbere and the kebbeh from Little Ethiopia.


It was good!

However, Steven and I felt funny afterwards:

Me: I am dizzy.
Steven: Your face is bright red!
Me: You are sweating!
Steven: Julie, do you see that the walls are breathing ?
Me: I feel funny.
Steven: I think we should lie down.

I may have over done it with red hot chili pepper. Doro Wat should not make you hallucinate. It felt like I slipped myself a mickey.

Our friend Allen had better luck...


This past Sunday, Allen made us an Ethiopian feast! He used the recipes from this month's Saveur magazine.



Unlike me, he made his own spice butter AND his own Injera! Incredible.




It was extremely yummy, and the best part... no breathing walls afterwards.

Thanks Allen!

Skooled.

What are you two doing here?


Just for the record, this is not the most ideal greeting from a social worker to an adoptive couple.

Steven and I had to take a two part, ten hour, adoption parenting class. The first part was in January (I think, was it that long ago?) Anyway, the teacher was a bit out of sorts that day, and I was not surprised that she canceled part two, the night before it was to take place.

When our agency finally called to reschedule they said, "S is no longer going to be teaching your class. We have a new social worker that will be taking over.”

“Oh, I said, what’s her name?”

"Her name is Fariba."

I thought to myself, how many adoption social workers named Fariba could there be in Los Angeles?

Fariba is the name of one of the instructors we had at our thirty hour, foster parent training program. We took these classes just over a year ago. I wrote about the experience here.

I was not entirely surprised when Steven and I showed up a few weeks ago for part two, and were greeted by our old friend Fariba saying, "What are you two doing here?”

I had been thinking about seeing her again. I was happy to have the opportunity to tell her why, after two months and thirty hours of training, we decided not to be foster parents. I printed up what I wrote about her here on the blog, and put it in a little thank you card.

I was kind of afraid that she might think that we were residents of Crazytown...

Who are these Julie and Steven people? Do they just take as many adoption classes as they can, year after year? Do they just miss being in school? They still don’t seem to have any children. What is up with these two! Crazytown denizens for sure.

I felt reassured when Fariba, with great thoughtfulness said, "From what I remember about you two, this is the right path for you to be on.”

What do you think gave it away?

Maybe it was the role-play we had to do in the foster class:

Fariba: Julie, would you like to play the foster- adoptive mother?

Me: Uh, sure. I guess so.

She picked other people to play the DCFS worker, and the birth parents.

In the scenario, I am given a tiny baby by the DCFS social worker. I hold the baby, feed her, and sing softly to her. I have a pretend visit with the birth mom. The birth mom leaves. Shortly after, the social worker comes back, and tells me the baby is going to be returned to the birth mother. She quickly takes the baby out of my arms. I sit there, empty handed , on a cold metal folding chair.

Well I bet you can guess how this went.

It was a one-way trip to Boo Hoo City for me. I was a weepy mess.

Fariba probably made a mental note to herself right then and there,"This Julie person… maybe not the best candidate for the Los Angeles foster-adopt program."

Fariba’s thirty hour foster parent training program was incredibly helpful. This latest class basically covered the same material. We even did an imagery exercise identical to one we had done before.

I am wondering how other adoptive parents feel about the classes they had to take to become home study "approved". Did you find them helpful? I recently learned that some agencies allow you to do the instruction at home (online or with a DVD). I wonder if that would be better. I do know that every potential adoptive parent that I have met, has voraciously read whatever they could get their hands on regarding adoption. They devour book after book.

I find it ridiculous that they made a certain adoptive couple take these classes. The couple was a Nigerian man and his nine months pregnant wife. His brother had died, and he was in the process of adopting his nephew. There he was, on a Saturday morning with his about to burst wife, learning how to incorporate his adoptive child’s culture into his own. They are both Nigerian. It is his nephew. Now, I understand the importance of screening everyone who wants to adopt. Everyone should be checked out. God knows there are uncles of mine that I wouldn’t have wanted to be placed with (totally kidding), but really why did this couple have to answer questions about how they were going to help this child, their nephew, maintain his culture? Silly.

Steven and I are finished with our required adoption education. I feel like we have only just begun. (Insert cheesy Carpenters song here.)

Multi-Cultural Red Vines...

Okay,Okay - So maybe Steven and I are not making the right nutritional choices these days BUT isn't this Red Vines wrapper cool?

I think I may need another pack.

Thoughts from a mom just back from Ethiopia...

We have an online forum through our agency. Yesterday, a woman wrote the following post. The question she was answering was about the scenes of Ethiopia shown on American Idol, and what people thought of them. I really couldn't stop thinking about her comments so I wrote to her and she has given me permission to share them with you.


"I don't usually say much on the forum, but here go some thoughts I've been trying to collect ever since our return 2 weeks ago from Ethiopia with our son.

We traveled to Addis early and were able to spend a week and a half there before our adoption week started. It was during those days prior to meeting our son that we were able to really see the devastation in that city. Having been to West Africa before, we thought we were prepared to see and handle the poverty, etc. in Addis. Nothing could have prepared us for what we saw ... the impact poverty, drought, disease has had is far greater than any other place we had been.

During our week with CHSFS we were significantly sheltered from the worst parts of the city. We never drove through the Mercado ... which is the center of the largest slum in Africa. People/children sleeping on the median and lined up down the sidewalk. A million people living in an area with no sewer or water system. So many people ... living in condition I did not even know existed. It was only during our early time there that we were able to really see all this.

Before we left for Ethiopia we had put together this beautiful picture of our son's birth country in our minds. We had done the reading/research and we knew so much of the amazing history and rich culture Ethiopia has to offer. We knew about the beauty of the people and the countryside. It was easy to focus on the beauty when we were a half a world away.

But when we actually were there it was very easy to do the exact opposite ... be so completely overwhelmed by the devastation that we could not even bear to think about the beauty. It is so hard to explain in words and always comes out wrong when I try to write it.

It's sort of like this ... the beauty is there, it is amazing and overwhelming and striking. The history is deep and the culture is fascinating and wonderful.

But when I held an HIV+ little girl in my arms at AHOPE I could not even think about the beauty because the unfairness and overwhelming grief that surrounds her is so big I can't even see it all. It's like the beauty makes the poverty so much more real. It's the contrast between the two that is so overwhelming and hard to deal with.

When I watched my two bio daughters play with the kids at AHOPE ... play with them without any regard for language or nationality or sickness ... it make my heart ache with grief for these people. Not because I am any better than them ... not because I have some ability to "save" them from anything. But because all of a sudden I felt guilty for my life of privilege ... for my life that has come so easily by comparison.

We worked hard to make this adoption possible ... working extra jobs, cutting way back on things we used to think necessary. And our friends here honored us with this huge going away party/fundraiser before we left. We were sent off with this huge encouragement for all the "good" we had done as a result of our "sacrifice." I stood at AHOPE a couple days later with my bags of donations and felt so horrible for even thinking I had made a sacrifice. Nothing I had done really qualified as a sacrifice in light of what I was then staring in the face.

And now that I'm back here in the States I've gone back to my regular life ... the shock of what I saw has worn off in so many ways. It is when I stare into my son's eyes that I feel this overwhelming responsibility to him ... like I owe it to him to try and make a difference.

And if me, as a mother who has traveled to Ethiopia to pick up her son, can move past what I saw in such a short amount of time ... then surely the majority of our American population can do the same. And if it takes pictures and statistics of the worst to compel us to give ... then so be it.

Ethiopia is a beautiful place ... probably the most beautiful place we've ever been. But her beauty is being overshadowed by her struggles ... struggles that we as a country could significantly impact. Not because we are better in any way ... but because for some reason that I don't understand ... we have access to more resources.

So ... there it is ... the rambles of a mom who gazes at her new son with so many emotions going all the time ... love, grief, guilt, sadness, joy and more. What happened to cause our son to need our family should never have to happen. Right now we are trying to figure out the next step our family needs to take in order be a part of the rebuilding of our son's birth country.

Adoption turned out to be so much bigger for us than we ever thought it would be. So much bigger ... and so much more amazing. Truly the journey of a lifetime."

Friday Friend or Family Feature...

Today's Feature is...

Deb!



I met Deb at the very beginning of 2004. We were both members of an online group of women who were dealing with family building issues.The group had members from all over the world. In our very first correspondence, we learned that we lived five blocks away from each other. The timing of this meeting is important too. Remind me to tell you why later.

We met for lunch, and hit it off. We had several things in common. We were both aching to be mothers.We both loved dogs. We both loved hiking. We both liked to exercise and to eat. She was more fond of exercise, I was more fond of eating. We became friends easily. At the time we both needed someone who understood what we were going through.



The online group that we were in became a much smaller offshoot of local women. With the exception of one other person, every single woman in this group became pregnant. Many went on to have their second child, and a couple had their third. Deb and I were the "Last women standing". We cried on each others shoulders, and propped each other up. We began to believe that we would never, ever experience what these women had. We thought that we would parent only dogs, and as lovely as that is, we were both very, very sad about it.

Deb is a very sweet and thoughtful person. She is fun. Amid the sadness of the past few years, Deb has always managed to keep a glimmer of hope. Deb appreciates nature.


She loves flowers and gardening, and being outside. Deb and I used to take all of our pups on hikes. These were our super hairy kids. The five dogs (at the time) were living large with trips to beautiful canyons and refreshing waterfalls.


Deb has a zest for life. She likes to travel all over the place. She really likes wine.

Up until this point, Deb had succeeded beautifully at everything she had ever attempted. She worked hard, and achieved her goals easily. She whizzed through college and law school. She became a successful lawyer and then a recruiter. The company that she works for is now hugely successful due to her taking over its management.

Deb went through many years of heartaches and struggles. She was pregnant, and then she wasn't pregnant . She tried again and again. It was physically and emotionally exhausting. She had some really bad luck. Her heart was broken over and over again. Deb, however, is a very strong woman. She was not going to give up. Well, I've got some good news for you...

Meet Deb's happy ending...


This is Gabrielle. This is one beautiful baby wouldn't you agree?

This is Gabrielle's mom...



This is one happy mommy. Wouldn't you agree?






In the past, when people announced their pregnancies, or sent picture of their newborns, I admit that I would often feel jealous. This is not the case with Deb. I was in the trenches with this woman. I have seen her broken and inconsolable. I can't tell you how happy I am that this child has come into her life. No one deserves it more.

Oh and bonus for me...



I get to hug and squeeze her whenever I want (Gabby I mean, not Deb).




Back to the timing of that first meeting: Just a few weeks after meeting me, I told Deb that I had been diagnosed with cancer. At that moment Deb could have run for the hills. I mean really what good is a new friend who is going to be having a lot of health problems? Deb was having problems of her own. At that point, I was an acquaintance, a neighbor. It would have been really easy for Deb to say, "Nice meeting you Julie, and good luck with that cancer thing". Instead, Deb rallied around me. She was extremely supportive.


As part of my treatment I had to go on a ridiculous diet. I couldn't eat anything that had iodine in it.There is really nothing to eat that doesn't have iodine in it. I was exhausted, terrified of what lay ahead, and really, really hungry. My anxieties about family building had turned into something much graver.


Deb cooked me a delicious birthday lunch completely within the parameters of this diet. Did I mention that I was a vegetarian at the time? It was so thoughtful. She helped cheer me up on a birthday I wasn't really interested in celebrating. Her act of kindness really boosted me up. Who is this woman I thought ? She just met me and I am sick. She should just get back online and find herself a new, healthy friend to hang out with. Well she didn't and I am grateful.

How will my adoption impact Deb? Deb is, and always has been, a HUGE supporter of adoption. I wouldn't be surprised if she and Allen adopt a child of their own. She has always been helpful and encouraging. She even offered to come with me to adoption conferences and events back when Steven wasn't quite ready.


I am looking forward to play dates. (Can you drink wine during play dates?) I am looking forward to Naartjie sales, and more birthday parties. I am looking forward to introducing my kids to this smart, successful, sweet, thoughtful woman, who has helped me through a very challenging part of my life.

I am looking forward to more hikes in the mountains with our kids, our furry kids, and our not so furry kids.


I can't wait.

Anxious.

Steven and I have decided, that if for some reason the Ethiopia program shuts down, we will finally give up on our dreams of expanding our human family. (How many times does one have to be hit on the head before one gets the message?) I feel anxious about this lately. I would not be surprised if Americans become ineligible to adopt from Ethiopia. Why do I think this? The program is growing by leaps and bounds. Look at

this...

Whenever a country program grows so quickly, it is almost inevitable that bad things begin to happen. Lots of money changes hands, corruption begins to happen, ethics start to go out the window. Many people who are trying to adopt internationally are finding that they are being shut out of several countries.

People are coming in droves to the Ethiopia program. I am a member of an online community for people adopting from Ethiopia. Many people who work for agencies are being asked some disgusting questions. For example, someone asked…

"Can you recommend an agency that places lighter skinned babies from Ethiopia?”

WHAT is WRONG with THESE people?

It’s Africa!

Please, please, please do not attempt to adopt an African child if you are not comfortable with the color of that child’s skin. It truly makes me sick.

It is, right now, still relatively easy to adopt from Ethiopia. The wait times, though quickly increasing, are short comparatively. I believe that our agency is working in an ethical manner. I believe that they are doing things for the people of Ethiopia. I believe that they are placing children as an absolute last resort. I hope that I am right, and I hope that if this changes, we will know.

I feel today that it could go either way for us. We may, in a year or so, be at home with two small kiddos. We may remain childless. There really is no way of knowing for sure.

I am anxious.

Would you place children with these people...

Does this picture of me remind you of anyone?












Yep, my friend and twin, "The World's Oldest Woman."

Amo, Amas, Abat Amat....

Quite often, Steven and I will be sitting here, in our living room, drinking coffee and surfing the net on our respective computers. (I am pretty sure you can imagine what I am reading; All Ethiopian adoption all the time!)

From Steven's corner of the room, I hear something that sounds like the pilot over the loudspeaker on a noisy plane," Ladies and gentleman, we are static static static estimated time of static static static and welcome aboard!" What on earth is he listening too? Well I thought it might be interesting to give you some of the links that the soon to be "Abat" surfs in the privacy of his own living room...

First, this one...

Here, he watches HOURS of footage of NASA missions. He also calls his mom and they watch together over the phone. They say things like, "Did you see that rollover pitch maneuver!?" Geeks extreme.

Then, since he is up in space anyway, he might head over here...

Once he sees what's going on there, he will want more information and so he goes here...


When he goes here, I am a happy woman. I sing along, badly, and beg him to please, please, please learn Little Wing.



After he puts down his ax, you may find him here...

Or here...
(If anyone can explain this one to me I would be grateful. It makes me feel dumb as a stone).

I'll oftentimes find him reading this...and this...




You can tell a lot about a person from their favorite links don't you think?


What's in your surfing history? What are some of your favorite links?(besides the ones on your blogrolls) And people please, keep it clean, this is a family blog!!

Friday Friend or Family Feature...

will return next week.

Thank you all for your lovely comments on Monday's post.

Would you place children with these people...

Family game involving Velcro hats, and Velcro balls.

The C Word...

Four years ago today, I received a phone call that shook me to my core. It went something like this...

Dr.A:

"Well, I have to say that most of these reports come back and they are ambiguous. There is nothing ambiguous about your report Julie, you have cancer."

How do I describe what I was feeling at that point? It is difficult. Unless you have heard these words said to you, it is almost impossible to know what it feels like. I guess it felt like a rug was pulled out from under me, and I was falling face first into a cement floor. I immediately called Steven and asked him to come home.

It is scary. It was the scariest thing I have ever gone through. Just writing this has made me start to shake and sweat and cry a little bit. I am lucky. I am so very lucky. I had an easy cancer, thyroid cancer. They basically take out your thyroid, nuke you with some radioactive iodine and send you on your way. It most cases it does not return. You have to have follow up scans and tests, and you are on thyroid replacement medication for the rest of your life, but comparatively, still easy.

Everyone says that when you have cancer you inevitably start appreciating life more. (Once you get through it). It is definitely a cliche, but it is also true. You become very grateful, very quickly for all of the things you have in your life.


You think about the people you love, and how happy you are to know them. You notice the sun. You notice the moon. You look closely to see how big and brown and beautiful your husband's eyes are.


You touch your dog's back and think that you have never in your life touched something so soft. You thank God that you live in America. You thank God that you have health insurance. You feel the love and anxieties of all of your friends, and all of your family members. It makes you very mindful. It stops you in your tracks. It weeds out the fodder. It brings you some clarity.

People may say the wrong things when they find out about your cancer. Like, "No wonder you couldn't stay pregnant," or " That explains why you are so sickly looking," or "What will Steven do without you?" In retrospect, you just have to laugh. People get scared too. People don't really know what to say. It shakes them up too. It makes everyone think about their own mortality.

I am so very lucky. I cannot imagine having to go through that alone. There was a woman who was rolled into the nuclear medicine room I was in. I was waiting for a scan. She too, was waiting for some sort of scan. She was in bad shape. I do not think her cancer was thyroid cancer. I do not think she was about to receive any good news. She couldn't talk, she mumbled a bit. All of the sudden a bad odor took over the room. This woman had soiled herself. A nurse, (one who had obviously been absent on the bedside manner day of nursing school), started berating this woman. "I told you to tell me if you needed to have a bowel movement. You don't even have a diaper on , What are you doing!!??" She continued to yell at her. I said, "Please, please, leave her alone." The nurse rolled this woman out, probably to yell at her in a more private setting. This woman was so helpless, and so sick, and the only one around her was treating her like shit. Truthfully, if the nurse had been more attentive to her, she probably wouldn't have had an accident. Anyway, the point, what was my point? Yes, the point is, I am grateful. I am grateful that I have someone, many someones to help me through the challenges of life.




This is Boyd:


Steven made Boyd the healthy thyroid for me while he was waiting for me to come out of surgery. He thought I might be sad without a thyroid, so he sewed me a new one. Levity, very important when facing cancer. Steven never left my side. Not for one minute.

Have you ever been in the hospital ? Have you ever had surgery? When you finally came home, what was the first thing you wanted to do? I had been very ill from the morphine. I had retched and retched. My hair was matted with blood and sweat and who knows what else. I wanted a shower. Well, since my neck was all bandaged up with gauze and tape, I was told I could take a shallow bath, but no shower.

Steven washed my hair for me.

I will never, ever forget this moment, as long as I live. He gently tilted my head back and washed my dirty hair. I could feel all of his tenderness at that point. I could feel his strength, his love, his fear, his warmth, I could feel everything. It was one of the most intimate moments of our whole relationship. I had never felt anything more comforting. It was so good to be clean. It was so good to be loved. It was so good not to be alone. It was so good to be home.
I am so grateful.

What does this have to do with my Ethiopian adoption? What doesn't it have to do with it. Everything that has happened in our lives has led us to this point. With baited breath we wait for the day when we learn who our children will be. Our experiences, our sickness our health, have brought us to this point. We wait. We reflect. We gather strength for what lies ahead. We take a breath, and are mindful of all that we have, and all that we have lost. We stand tall and embrace a new day. We take joy in a spring breeze. We smile as our pup rolls around on a cool patch of grass. We gaze at each other and are present. We stop and smell the lilies.We are full of emotion and anticipation. We are alive.

I am grateful.

Easter Egg Hunt - 2007

We didn't color eggs or set up a hunt this year. It is kind of pathetic to do it for your dogs. However last year, they enjoyed it quite a bit.



Finding and eating an egg while relieving himself! That's talent!

Happy Easter!

Unfortunately this is all I came up with for Steven this year...



Peeps from last year. They will most likely make an appearance next year as well. Who eats these things?