Lucky Now

 The lights will draw you in
And the dark will bring you down
And the night will break your heart
only if you’re lucky now

I listen to this album over and over. I love it. I love him. Meazi's favorite track is Lucky Now. She belts out the words in the backseat as we drive back and forth to school. I am feeling very lucky today. This week has been a real mixed bag of emotions. We had to put Teddy down. Even though we knew it was coming, it was still heartbreaking. We have gone from three dogs to none. The house feels empty. Meazi took Teddy's stocking down and brought it to me, a big sad grown-up look in her eyes. Melese keeps babbling about how Lummi, Moses, and Teddy are all going to come back home very soon. We didn't have the vet come here this time. If you recall, we have been through this together pretty recently. The truth is we had more time with Ted than we expected, but it still sucks.

I also got a call from my doctor about a routine blood test I took six weeks ago. He said the results indicated a possible recurrence of cancer. I had to quickly get a neck ultrasound, and repeat the blood work. It turned out to be a LAB ERROR.  Those few days waiting for the results sucked the living life out of me. I imagined the impossibility of caring for my energetic kidlets while going through treatment again. I was an anxious ball of nerves. Fucking lab error- give me a break!

 Luckily, Uncle Mark arrived- in one piece! He is the ultimate tonic for all that ails. Everyone should have an Uncle Mark. The kids are too busy to be sad about Teddy, or worry about why their mother was muttering about lab results in the corner.

We had snow! Ok, well, Hollywood style- mall manufactured soap flakes, but SNOW! Who gives a shit if it isn't real! It was sixty degrees!

 And if the lights draw you in
And the dark can take you down
And love can mend your heart
 only if you’re lucky now

We just took an easy hike, and then ate burritos the size of our heads. We are waiting happily for the arrival of the Royal Wedding, Prince and Princess- The royal wedding of Madison that is.


I hope that you are surrounded by the things that make you feel lucky.

I hope Santa brings you this Ryan Adams album.