Monday, May 23, 2011

BBB + Mean Reds

The amazing Rebekah often graces us with a Bad Blogger Bullet point post. I love those. I thought that I would attempt one since I have a dozen posts in my head and about twenty minutes left before Melese wakes up from his nap. Here goes-

Marshall Garlington, one of the amazing photographers from our fundraiser is dying his hair blue for Charity Water. Will you consider helping him reach his goal? We all know what a great organization that is and how much the gift of clean water will change a person's life. I read a statistic the other day that $35 can provide a lifetime of clean water for someone. Can that be true? Anyway, please help him if you can. He is a good egg.

Speaking of help, thank you for all of your advice about the situation with the two-year old. What would I do without you guys? I'd be a disaster. Things are better and this is going to sound absurd but I am trying to just REALLY listen to him- What is he saying? What is he trying to tell me? Today, while biting me, I'm pretty sure he was saying, "I am furious that my dad is back to work today, and that the girl I love most will be gone for the next six hours." I also signed him up for Mommy and Me Gym class at the YMCA, which is helping both of us. He can knock the shit out of some puffy blocks, and I can at least see the inside of a gym again.

Still think something is up with Amelia Bedelia, but Meazi adores her.

I am thinking constantly about Lori Rooney and Aster's mommy as they begin their lives as moms of five-ish year old girls. I can't stop thinking about when I first met Meazi.

Family History will be reprinted in Adoption Mosaic's, The Adoption Constellation Magazine this summer. The editor has asked me to expand the piece, and I seem unable to. It seems so long ago that Meazi needed to lie on me to fall asleep. I can't remember what it felt like, and what I can remember feels too private to share.

I have been thinking a lot about privacy/ blogging etc. Meazi wasn't writing in a journal I gave her. When I asked why she told me she was upset that I copied something she drew. I am getting to the point where I feel like maybe it is time to not share anymore, meaning...

Perhaps this blog has run its course.

Perhaps I just have the blog blahs.

And he's up!


  1. I think there are ways to share and not divulge too much. Hope you can find a balance that is comfortable to you and your family. If you justifiably bail, there would be a huge conspicuous absence in the ET blogworld, but I have no doubt peeps would overwhelmingly understand too.

    I should try listening more to Oa, rather than just hearing his incessant loudness, thanks for that.


  2. WTF? Really? Ending like that? Put Melese back down for another nap and don't leave us hanging!

  3. If you go and stop blogging then all of us will have the mean reds. But I get it.

  4. Selfishly, I would miss your blog so much. What would I do without the word church of Julie? But I completely understand if you feel it has run it's course (though your words could never run their course). I'm hoping it's just the blog blahs.

  5. a few thoughts
    1) i have started asking my oldest if she ok about the pictures and stories i tell about her on the blog. she likes having a say. she understands that people see it. her opinions will grow stronger over time and i plan on respecting that.
    2) there is a reason i changed my blog and spent over 20 hours going back through and changing all our names to fake ones. i lost half my readers by switching locations, but i think in the long run if her future friends/employers can't google her real name and find what her mom has written about her childhood on the internet that is a good thing.
    3) community and therapy through blogging is irreplaceable. i tried quitting and i missed it. a private journal just doesn't do the same thing for me. but you have to do what is right for your family.

    4)your voice and insight and honesty is so important to so many. i would miss you like crazy. but i would understand.

  6. selfishly I hope it's just the blahs!

  7. Thinking about having a new five year old those first weeks made me a little teary too. I can totally understand why there is a lot that you keep just for you.
    Thinking Melese and Bea could have some hitting sessions together....we may be in need of a YMCA soon.

  8. Oh, Julie, I would miss you so much! Let the blahs run its course for a while before making a final decision. Regardless, you are so loved!

  9. I hope it is just the blahs too! As a waiting mom-to-be, I go back and read your old posts all the time and I am sure that as a new parent (I hope that day will come), I am sure I will want to do the same with your newer posts. I don't feel that way about many of the blogs I read!

    I think that waiting/adoptive parents go through so many of the same experiences, but so few can express them so beautifully and so meaningfully.

    Having said all of that, I am a private blogger and understand the need for privacy too!

  10. I have a huge case of blog blahs. I envy all the writers out there that can pour their heart out and write so beautifully. For me it's way to personal and I'm stuck writing about shit that doesn't mean as much to me. You are a beautiful writer and I hope you are able to find your balance. Please pass your advice on to me once you figure it all out :) Good luck!

  11. I just discovered your blog! It is amazing to read your experiences at becoming a family. My husband and I adopted a little boy (8 months) last year from South Africa. I've had so many ah ha moments reading your blog. I really hope you find a way to continue to share and keep your familys'privacy!

  12. As others have said, I hope there is a way to strike a balance, though I understand that will change as your family changes. I have been reading the blog since right after you came home with Meazi and Melese, and have never forgotten your kind words about enduring childless years until I could one day meet my own remarkable children. Your posts have been road maps to family.

  13. julie. on one hand, as a really horrible blogger- i totally and completely understand. on the other hand, i just looked at the donation meter on your side bar. i starting thinking about what you have accomplished- this includes organizing and motivating people to build a school and a library. but, i think that all of us would agree that there could be no meter to truly reflect the impact you have had on all of us. maybe it's not fair to hold you to another standard, and if you weren't such an awesome writer with such amazing kids- i wouldn't, but you have a purpose in this. the power of one writer-that applies so perfectly to you. you have changed our hearts, you have become our sister and our friend. you, you are julie. your voice matters. your voice comforts. your voice inspires.

    so please, please keep writing. i believe that you can find a way to carry on without compromising what you hold most dear.

  14. Finding a new entry from you on my blogroll is like a little gift. I'd miss your voice if it left the blogging world.

  15. What everyone else said, especially Rebecca.

    I've also started thinking about asking Elfe's permission before I write something about her. She can recognize her own name now, and sometimes when I am typing at the computer I am surprised to hear her voice at my elbow: "what are you writing about me?"

  16. Ditto what Rebecca said. I hope you can find a good balance. As our kids get older and want more privacy, we will all have to change how we do things around our blogs. You might be needing a change but I hope you can still write. You are an incredible writer and you have really helped so many people. And you still are...I get teary eyed when I think of the children in Ethiopia that will attend school this year because of your vision and determination. I switched to fake names and felt better...I will eventually stop putting pictures of their faces on my blog for added privacy, but I'm not ready for that yet. Anyway, big love to you. I think learning what M is trying to communicate to you is huge. Good for you.

  17. Please add my imploring voice to the chorus! Although your body of work here to-date would (hopefully) remain as an invaluable resource, the tribulations and triumphs of your beautiful children are too precious not to share with the world. I have shared your blog with *so* many people since coming across it some months ago. Your link to the resources for adopted children with PTS disorder rang a loud bell with one friend who has been struggling with behavior difficulties in her own adopted child. Another friend is a photographer, and the grandparent of two beautiful adopted Ethiopian children. Your words and images are inspiring and informing so many people whose lives may never intersect your own in person. But this gift you are giving us all? Priceless!