Friday, May 27, 2011

And it's Just too Bright...


So I guess I'm not ready to give up the blog just yet. I will just have to figure out what to share. I have a feeling Meazi will help me with that. I hope that she doesn't mind that I share the following.

Today was the two year anniversary of our referral for Meazi and Melese. I had mentioned that fact to Meazi early on in the week. I asked her if she remembered what had happened on May 27th. She didn't. I showed her this video again. Then she remembered. Last night, for the first time in months, we talked extensively about Ethiopia. Meazi told me a couple of happy stories that I had never heard before. Then she asked me why her new friend Aster needed a family. I told her that I wasn't sure. We agreed that she must feel really scared, being here in Los Angeles for only a couple of weeks.



This morning Meazi slept in. We had talked about playing Pippi Longstocking again in the morning. I am always Pippi, Meazi is Annicka, and Melese is Tommy. We play this a lot. I lift our rocking horse over my head repeatedly, and we eat a lot of pancakes. This morning we made a huge stack with a slab of butter in the center, doused in syrup, and smothered in whipped cream. While I was cooking I asked Meazi to choose a not so loud cd for us to listen to. We have a messy collection of about 30 miscellaneous cds in our living room. Amazingly enough she chose a cd I made for myself and my waiting friends while we waited, and waited, for children. The songs are about waiting, and At Last is at the end. Cue ugly happy cry number one. Meazi asked me again to describe what happened on May 27th, 2009. I got to the part about "A 2 1/2 year old girl and her baby brother" and completely lost it- big, heaving, sobs. She just smiled at me, knowing that I was crying because I was happy and grateful. She has been especially sweet to me, and to her baby brother all day.


 I was thinking that we might not pay much attention to this date in our family. Really, probably not a happy day to mark for M&m. But, now, as with many things, this date has a new significance for all of us. Meazi, the perceptive wonder that she is, realizes fully that this day was a REALLY big day around here. As we sit together in the same room where all our friends came to celebrate, I think we will definitely use a sharpie marker to mark this day on our family's calendar.

This has been a day so full of happiness that I feel like I may actually burst. Yes, there are problems. Yes, there is sadness. Yes, there is loss.

But not today.

Today is pancakes and Pippi, libraries and parks, picnics and playdates. Today I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Today I am sure that I must be the luckiest mom on the planet.

The very luckiest.

 Another song from the cd...



For Bridget. Hold. On.

20 comments:

  1. So so beautiful. Please keep writing Julie, you have such a lovely gift.

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  2. giving me the weepies. geez. happy referralversary guys!

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  3. I'm going to eat pancakes tomorrow in honor of your delightfully amazing family and the fact that you are going to keep blogging no matter how long it lasts.

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  4. Yeah for Bridget! This is perfect. I would love a copy of that cd.

    P

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  5. Oh damn. I love your writing. You know I do. That last part did it. You reach out from your joy, and touch others. Share. Spread it. In the darkest hardest of spots.

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  6. I'm addicted to your blog! Happy referralversary!! Seriously I have happy tears for you!

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  7. I cannot believe it was that long ago! I remember things like little chairs, empty in the photos, waiting and waiting and then the whirlwind and the happiness..

    I am so happy we live in this age...

    I am so happy you are writing...

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  8. Hi- I clicked in from Claudia's blog, just thought I would say HI, I was reading. I read back about 2 months and have enjoyed your writing. Your children are adorable!

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  9. happy referralversary! We also never planned on celebrating it much knowing exactly what it meant for our babes. But then they'd overhear Zach and me talking about it or notice I was particularly creepy with looking at them all of the time. Now they know what date it is and want to hear all about it. I let them lead the discussion most of the time and they LOVE hearing the story. :)

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  10. Inspiring me to make panqueques this morning for mi nino.

    So happy for the unity of your family, and my heart waits with Bridget and family.

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  11. Oh no, you're not seriously thinking of quitting your blog are you? I feel like I was late to the party, and I'm just getting my groove on...and now the lights are dimming. Say it aint' so!

    Beautiful writing. Beautiful children. We ate pancakes today at our house, too. DD also initiated an intense conversation about ET and then created an ad-lib acting game where I was her ET mom and she was the baby.

    Our kids have amazing abilities to sort out and understand their life experiences. It humbles me every time.

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  12. two years ago, on may 27th, a little baby girl was born and she would later be my daughter. so amazing.

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  13. So beautiful, Julie. I too have wondered and struggled with celebrating our adoption milestones. On the one hand it seems wrong to celebrate in light of such loss, but on the other it seems wrong to deny the joyous markers that brought our families together. I'm glad you were able to share the joy of your referral with your children. It can't be bad for them to know what an amazing day that was!

    P.S. I have been out of touch and missed your blogging dilemma. Happy that you will be around for a while longer. You're writing is such a gift to so many of us. Many thanks from my whole family to your whole family for sharing your story.

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  14. Oh, Julie. You are so beautiful and kind and thoughtful. A wonderful post- full of so much life and happiness. And then you give me such a gift. Such a tremendous gift. Thank you, dear friend. Thank you. Am holding on.

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  15. Please don't stop blogging. You ground us. We need you. And Meazi and Melese. I look forward to their first posts, and then the memoir. It's a good day. The good and the bad come together to make today. And, gratefully, today is good.

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  16. Sniff, sniff. Smile, smile.

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  17. oh what a day to remember.....thanks for sharing.

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  18. Hard to believe it's been two years already - it really is true that the waiting is so long and heavy but then time flies when you actually have children!

    I'm glad you will keep blogging. Make Meazi your writing partner, she'll keep you on track...

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  19. **sniff, sniff**

    I love those days that are just happy, not anything else. And I'm really glad you marked this one :)

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