Monday, April 19, 2010

Eight Months & Five Days Ago...

She was so scared. She is still scared. On my birthday she asked me who would take care of her and Melese when Steven and I died. I don't think that a lot of the people she knew in Ethiopia made it past 40 years old.

This girl breaks my heart. This girl fills my heart.

These children are remarkable.


  1. oh sweet jesus...i could only make it 15 seconds. these kids have the hearts of lions.

  2. If I can barely handle your little girl handling this all, boy, I'm not sure I can do this.

  3. I was a mess in the first minute. Such a powerful and deeply sad and deeply happy moment. Breaks my heart that at such a young age she worries about your death. I hope life fills her and fills her until it's all she can think about. Hugs to a sweet momma who walks her through this.

  4. That post seriously needed a warning. I made it about 20 seconds in before I started bawling. beautiful and sad all at the same time.

  5. And you are their heart.

    When I was 12
    I learned life is fragile
    heartbreak is inevitable
    and pain inescapable
    I also learned
    it’s all about the heart
    was then. is now.
    because the heart doesn’t forget
    that soft moment between
    strangers and friends
    brothers and sisters
    husbands and wives
    mothers and daughters
    fathers and sons
    the tug that pulls you in and back
    to where you opened up
    you weren’t afraid or self-conscious
    you leaned in and breathed
    your eyes open to the possibility
    of soulful connection
    and you caught a glimpse
    of life’s purest golden meaning
    and you promised yourself
    you would sustain that
    in everyday
    and you could
    if only the rest of the world would lean in too
    but isn’t that the only way to shake the spirits closer?
    to empty the pockets of glorious stories?
    you shift a little
    inch by inch
    and draw somebody in
    day after day
    and the divide thins
    and the heart is full because afterall,
    it’s all about the heart
    was then. is now. always will be.

  6. Yeah, a warning would be good. So little. So brave. So beautiful. So crying my eyes out. Perfect song choice.

  7. I was trying to comprehend the thoughts she was having at that moment and I can't.

    A happy and sad moment indeed.

  8. Can you teach me how to feel so much? These days, I feel I can only function at half numb. You guys are so beautiful. xoxo

  9. Oh Sweet little Meazi, she looks so tiny in that video. All I kept thinking while watching this is how perfectly matched you all are! The love, strength and compassion in all of you is astounding. You are a wonderful mama... I think I counted 100 kisses during that ride. xoxo

  10. oh.

    the beauty.

    the heartbreak.

  11. beautiful and at the same time, heartbreaking. now I'm remembering all those same emotions that came pouring out of me on that same short bus ride...

  12. remarkable children...remarkable family. thanks for sharing the broken and full hearts with us!

  13. Yeah, like Mama Dog, I was crying within the first ten seconds, still am now more than 5 minutes later, one more tear running into my left nostril.

  14. Beautiful. Just beautiful. Tears here too.

  15. oh...they both look so tiny and young and like little babies! Crazy how much they have grown (in every way!) in the past 8 months and 5 days!

  16. That took my breath away! I got good bumps and had such a mix of emotions.


  17. And so, are you. Jeez, yeah, a caution box or something....have pity!

  18. Beautiful post Julie, our kids have so much strength don't they? I hope I can learn from them.

  19. The thought of what the children of ET have to endure brings me to tears every time. How lucky are we all to have these children in our lives forever... You have a beautiful family.

  20. I watched it last night, but just didn't know what to say. My heart ached for her.

  21. They are remarkable, and so are you.

    (and your blog is now officially off limits to me at work where crying is not cool!)

  22. Has it really been that long? Still seems like yesterday in so many ways...

  23. I am so happy she has you. I am so happy you have her.

  24. BEAUTIFUL....Thanks for sharing this with all of us....

  25. I love that you can hear each of the kisses you give her.

    Priceless video!

  26. What a lovely moment captured with misty windows, sounds of kisses, smiles and apprehension, Melese's big eyes, Meazi's sweet face. Yet another post of yours that had me crying. At first I thought, "what are these people talking about...15 seconds until tears." Then I think by 14 seconds I was crying. So many emotions in her question and her story and the video. Thanks for sharing.

  27. I can't stop thinking about this video. It is one of the most powerful things I think I have ever seen. Yes. really.

  28. They are so brave, and so are you. You are all so perfectly matched. What a precious and rare thing, to love and be loved like you love your children. That leaving is profoundly sad, yet so beautiful. Thank you for sharing that.

  29. I love the kiss,kiss,kiss,kiss,kiss natural reaction of a mother to a child. I just returned from caring for our newest grand-daughter and her 18 month old brother. My lips are raw! Nothing like the hugs, sniffs, and kiss, kiss, kisses!!!

  30. Oh so powerful. beautiful. the resiliance and strength and courage of these little ones. thanks for sharing.

  31. heartbreaking. beautiful.

  32. I've been spending the past week or so becoming acquainted with your blog, Julie, and it's been an absolutely beautiful and emotional experience. I love your talented way with words and how raw and open you are with your family's experiences. Melese is possibly the most gorgeous little boy I've ever seen.

    When I watched this video, his big and frightened eyes affected me deeply. I can't explain the way I felt. I kept rewinding to the part where his eyes dart quickly to Steven and away again. The poor thing looked terrified and I can't really imagine what horrors he and his sister had to face during their time at the orphanage.

    It is good to see them blossoming under your love and care. Be encouraged. :)

    Oh and by the way, great decision on the "no tv" for the children!