Countdown to Court: One

I had several ideas for a picture today. It felt wrong to just post a picture.

I needed to talk with you, my extended family. You have helped me get here, to this day. Thank you.

Tonight, on a late Wednesday evening, I think about the pictures that I was considering posting.

I thought I would post a photo of a Redwood tree and tell you something that Steven said to our social worker in 2007,

“Julie and I are a like a tree, our roots are deep but our branches are thin. We need more branches.”

One tree.

I thought about posting a picture of a family member whom I love very much, who once, when very frustrated with us said, “You and Steven are such a….such a….UNIT!!!”

And we are. We are a unit.

One unit.

I thought about posting a picture of a kite I picked up for Ms. M at a garage sale. Steven was in the middle of our street the other day, flying this kite. I haven’t seen him fly a kite in over ten years.

One kite.

I thought about posting a picture of the baby hawk who starting living in our yard about two weeks before we got our proposal. Our neighbor said that it was the first time in forty years that he had seen a baby hawk in this neighborhood.

One hawk.

I thought about posting a picture of an idyllic beach scene, and have it represent one plea, (prayer being too strong a word for this agnostic), just a plea; a plea we make to the universe to bring us closer to these two remarkable children.

One plea.

I thought about posting a song. Maybe the Jackson Browne song where he sings, “I’m gonna be a happy idiot…” because that is how I feel lately, like a happy idiot… so very happy.

One song.

But instead, no pictures, no songs.

Just me here, right now, filled with so many emotions. So many emotions.

My head is full of images from a care center in Addis Ababa. My mind is reeling. My heart is racing. I forget to eat. I wake up at 4 am. I count down the days.

I also feel like I have a secret, a secret that many of you share. I feel like shouting,

Hey you! Yeah You! Listen, do you want to have a really intense experience that changes your entire life? Do you want to feel more happiness than you ever thought possible? Do you want to fall in love with a country that is beautiful and proud and strong? Do you want to meet some of the most amazing children on the planet? You do?

Then adopt from Ethiopia.

Start a blog.

Find your family.

Find your friends.

Let go.

Fall in love.

Begin again.

One secret.


For those of you who asked if I was going to share their pictures…

Of course.

You are their family too. Without you, and your support, this mom would have never found her way to them. Thank you.

One thank you.