Thursday, October 6, 2011

Just Like Me.

 Melese and I take Meazi to school everyday. We get there early and play on the athletic field. When we first walk in, we always see a man that works at the school. From the very first day, Melese has been mysteriously drawn to this man. Jose (not his real name) is an older gentleman, maybe in his fifties, from Mexico. When Melese sees him he shouts, "Hi! Hi Jose!" Jose walks over, his crossing guard stop sign in hand, and says good morning to Melese. The second day Melese threw his arms around Jose and gave him an enormous hug. Unheard of for Melese who will barely give a smile to dear friends we have known for years. One day, after a similar hug, Jose kept holding Melese as he stopped carpool traffic. Melese helped him 'work' and talked all about it for the rest of the day. There is just something about this man that Melese is drawn to.

After a few mornings of this mutually adorable greeting, Jose told us a little bit about his family. His wife lives in Mexico with their two children, a son and a daughter. Recently his kids had to drop out of school because it was too dangerous to attend. The violence from the Mexican mafia has caused their neighborhood to become a war zone. He showed me pictures of his adorable children. His son is named after him.

Later at home, I was telling Meazi about him. I said that I felt so sad for him, and for his family. She said, "Which part of the story is the saddest to you mom?" I said, "I guess that he can't see his family Meazi, that is the saddest to me."

She said, "Just like me. I can't see my family. He's just like me."

Maybe this is what Melese and Jose have in common. Maybe this is why they hug each other like that each day.

Maybe he just misses his son, the one who doesn't get dropped off at the beautiful, progressive, expensive school, surrounded by guards and kindly employees who could watch out for him.

And what about Meazi? Is she, like him, just working and waiting until a time when she can see her family again?

Please pass the Dalwhinne.

19 comments:

  1. Oh she slays me.... oh gosh. Ow.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The intense connection with some people and complete aversion to others, the way our kids' minds work ... something other than what we see has to be going on. I love our perceptive little beings!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Word Church of Julie and Meazi.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh my. Oh Meazi. I just don't know quite what to say here.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Right in the gut. I can't wait to read the books she will write or gaze at the paintings she paints or the music she makes.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh Julie. So powerful that connection and Meazi's words.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Julie, as long as my Melese and I have been together, I still think he is waiting for the day that we tell him it's over, that it's all been temporary...that he needs to go back to ET. Heartbreaking, but real. Your girl, she is speaking a truth that we all need to understand. And as for Melese and Jose, how wonderful they have their moments of healing together.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Samson asked just the other day if we could invite his birth mommy over. He wants her to see his bedroom and watch him play baseball. I think he understands why she can't come over but it breaks my heart thinking about how much someone else so special to him is missing without being in his life.

    ReplyDelete
  9. oh boy, that got me. I feel for all of you, including Jose.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Um...yeah... (((hugs))...makes you wonder.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh, Julie... I know one day, I'll be bragging about knowing Meazi when she was a little girl.

    Clearly by now, I should know better to read your blog without a tissue handy.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I often ask myself that last question about one of my sons as well. Is he just biding time until he can go back and be with his first family again?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Because of her first bonding she can bond to you, my oldest daughter from Romania at 17 still can't bond, She never had anyone o bond too, my 7,6, and 2 yr old from et all from different families can, they miss their families, but this is good, it is key to being able to connect and trust and love, you are a great mom, lucky you and them! Well done

    ReplyDelete
  14. Amazing. Terrible. Meazi is a teacher and so is her Mommy.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wow. Certainly makes us think.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh....this is so powerful Julie. Thank you for sharing. Unexpected connections...unexpected realizations. wow.

    ReplyDelete
  17. All our kids really do speak the truth, don't they? Expressed so simply and powerfully. Recently our E was teaching her little brother (who doesn't remember): "We have a house in Ethiopia, too. It's very small, but it's our house. You didn't always live in this house. Now we have two houses."

    ReplyDelete