tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post7558341807849103043..comments2023-08-18T01:19:37.402-07:00Comments on the eyes of my eyes are opened: Self SoothingJuliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13790711152511868938noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-71568727033248464792011-03-10T08:15:34.642-08:002011-03-10T08:15:34.642-08:00Dear Julie, Writing to you in hope that you will c...Dear Julie, Writing to you in hope that you will consider sharing your family's story with the Joint Council. They started an online petition a couple of days ago see: Emergency Campaign for Ethiopian Children www.gopetition.com<br /><br />As part of this campaign they’re compiling a book of adoptive family outcomes to send to the Ministry in an effort to show that No institution, regardless of how well organized and funded it may be, can replace the nurturing, safety and guidance of a family. <br /><br />Of all of the blogs I’ve followed these past 18mos yours has meant the most to me as I continue to wait for my referral. Not only do you write beautifully, you so adeptly relay the joys, as well as the struggles, of international adoption - And in doing so, beautifully illustrate how it all comes together to situate these deserving Habesha children in the optimal environment to reach their full potential as human beings – a loving family. <br /><br />SO if you are inclined… please - sign, post, write! <br /><br />Thank you! JudeJudehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02085577391891826256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-68918325415029223872011-03-09T19:27:13.589-08:002011-03-09T19:27:13.589-08:00Love you Julie.
Yes, J did the same violent head...Love you Julie. <br /><br />Yes, J did the same violent head shake. Sometimes I would just cry because it would go on for so long and I just couldn't comfort him out of it. He slowly reduced the frequency, but only stopped maybe 6 months ago. <br />My grandmother spent much of her young childhood in institutionalized care. I think generations later, we are still recovering.Danni and Tommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16913598658012982425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-43600674822518354482011-03-08T17:20:26.018-08:002011-03-08T17:20:26.018-08:00My K had a bald spot, too, from the same behavior....My K had a bald spot, too, from the same behavior. I can hear the rhythmic sound it made now if I think about it. Thankfully, it is also gone. I don't even know how to get into this conversation. All I know is that I have the evidence I need to know our adoption was ethical and to shudder at thinking about my deaf and wheezy baby's life or my once malnourished big boy had adoption not been an option for them.Evelynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01800995892415893734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-62880060521596069382011-03-08T09:30:05.638-08:002011-03-08T09:30:05.638-08:00Beautifully said... thank you for writing this.
ma...Beautifully said... thank you for writing this.<br />maggieUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16890977924854868947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-30835173155095059802011-03-07T16:49:44.140-08:002011-03-07T16:49:44.140-08:00i haven't been able to talk about it at all be...i haven't been able to talk about it at all because of the sick to stomach feeling. <br /><br />hoping these measures help instead of hurt, hoping adoption doesn't end there.scooping it uphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08801475653537826888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-55335555890336068802011-03-07T10:04:01.048-08:002011-03-07T10:04:01.048-08:00Thank you for this. I have been feeling sick to my...Thank you for this. I have been feeling sick to my stomach/punched in the gut/whatever you want to call it. I am sick for the children who need homes and the families (like my own) waiting to love them. Ethics are of course the primary concern; but there are so many other things to be considered as well. I'm holding calm for now, waiting to see how this all works out.Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13533605951512372935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-27441607221510066912011-03-07T09:11:03.193-08:002011-03-07T09:11:03.193-08:00I worry about the children in ET all the time. it ...I worry about the children in ET all the time. it never leaves my consciousness. <br /><br />I hope all of this work does indeed lead to a better, safer program but I also hope it does that in as short a time as possible. <br /><br />Then what I hope beyond all reason is that the AIDS crisis and poverty cycle in ET can be helped and ultimately this fine beautiful country and its people can stand on their own two feet. <br /><br />Until then, this IA program is dearly needed. I hope the ET govt can see that.Lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17121305824925717532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-21700805762277706832011-03-07T03:21:30.906-08:002011-03-07T03:21:30.906-08:00After six and a half years on this path (in Austra...After six and a half years on this path (in Australia where inter-country adoptions are done through the government), it's been a journey where I expect the unexpected. If this slowdown proves true, then I hope that it at least achieves what it sets out to do, and that adoptive parents can be much more confident of the process in Ethiopia. The sheer numbers of children and agencies make this whole process very complicated, especially for a country so challenged by governance issues. I can only say that I am reassured that there is much higher awareness of the problems that can occur. In the meantime, it's tough for all involved.<br />HelenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-65346831284505417842011-03-06T12:16:46.647-08:002011-03-06T12:16:46.647-08:00My daughter used to get on her hands and knees and...My daughter used to get on her hands and knees and rock herself violently back and forth while humming a monotone sound. It was heartbreaking. She did it for a long time after she arrived home. She spent nearly a year of her life in an orphanage - all through her infancy. I can't imagine what further damage would have been done if she'd stayed longer.Danahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11698238153479529275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-35932435939678455432011-03-06T09:16:06.277-08:002011-03-06T09:16:06.277-08:00I feel the same way. I'm all for making sure e...I feel the same way. I'm all for making sure everything is ethical and children are protected. But I am heartbroken for all the children who are true orphans that will not know the brilliant love of a family. Delaying the process means that many children who would have been adopted are growing into the age bracket where their chances of being adopted dramatically decrease. It kept me awake Friday night and my heart is heavy. The knot in my stomach may not ever go away...Heatherhttp://heatherandrolyn.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-82265488494557201532011-03-06T08:27:59.320-08:002011-03-06T08:27:59.320-08:00Feeling so sad today. I can't stop looking at ...Feeling so sad today. I can't stop looking at the referral pictures of our M and m on our fridge, on our laptops, in our office. How long will they be in that orphanage (the image of K's son fighting for food is killing me right now)? We chose our agency (WHFC) for their ethics. We knew our wait would be long. Having an ethical adoption was our priority. <br /><br />I have no idea what the answer is. I truly hope that in the coming weeks an agreement will be reached where the children will not be unnecessarily delayed in care centers and certain agencies will be called to question.<br /><br />In the meantime we all wait. This is just so hard.Meghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05622597895525196654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-64388373248414187242011-03-06T07:50:04.478-08:002011-03-06T07:50:04.478-08:00Thanks Julie,
It has been such a hard one, I am a...Thanks Julie, <br />It has been such a hard one, I am amazed and comforted to be able to connect and read the words across the internet.<br />I am in Canada single and been waiting since 2008 and knowing I am not alone has helped so much with this weekend.<br />Thanks for the self soothing.<br />Still believing and holding on to hope<br />Shannonshannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11639574878234992281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-21332713047197256382011-03-06T07:34:57.931-08:002011-03-06T07:34:57.931-08:00I just keep seeing the eyes of the kids we met at ...I just keep seeing the eyes of the kids we met at the different orphanages we visited.....their eyes said "are you going to be our parents"<br /><br />It is heartbreaking indeed.<br /><br />Our adoption was ethical and for that we are grateful.Ranavan https://www.blogger.com/profile/16813747774603866918noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-70353663219719729932011-03-06T06:56:55.861-08:002011-03-06T06:56:55.861-08:00I agree with Jenny that it could be very positive ...I agree with Jenny that it could be very positive for children and could help many kids stay out of orphanages altogether. And, there are many people in Ethiopia who move mountains against all odds to help. It happens every day. I'm trying to have faith that these wonderful people will continue to give allrebekahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04814599978295161064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-18670299661753072522011-03-06T06:40:37.532-08:002011-03-06T06:40:37.532-08:00THANK YOU.
MaryTHANK YOU.<br /><br />MaryAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-50639885361374307902011-03-06T06:01:02.096-08:002011-03-06T06:01:02.096-08:00You are making the point that NEEDS to be made. It...You are making the point that NEEDS to be made. It's about the children, yes? The thought of Lia staying at the orphanage she was in for an extended period of time...it is heartbreaking. And, what about when the orphanages are full with children waiting for court dates? Where will the children go then? I understand the need for reform, but there has to be some compassion in that reform.<br /><br />Heart is broken.Staciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09371050778429168983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-40323364070378586752011-03-06T05:46:38.571-08:002011-03-06T05:46:38.571-08:00Having just traveled back from Ethiopia meeting ou...Having just traveled back from Ethiopia meeting our soon to be daughter...her mother was present in court and with social worker and translator reliquished her...sad sad sad...adoption is so complicated. I have been thiking a lot of her mother. We will be traveling back to Ethiopia to pick up our daughter within the next few months. My husband and I are planning on bringing out 2 other children ages 12 and 14. We will be traveling to our adopted daughter's region and mting her living relatives/mother...we want our other children there so they can tell her story one day as well...there will be many questions and we feel it is out job to have as many answers as possible. We plan to try and stay in touch with her family...mting them was/is a must for us, something we outlines with our agency at the start of this process. <br />All this to say, yes I'm sad and exhausted from the internal (within me) debate on ethics of international adoption...my friend put it best last night...she said something like we seem like we are trying to solve/figure out a problem that humanity hasn't been able to define much less resolve...made sense at the time?? <br />On another note, your blog Julie has been an instramental part of my process on this long long journey (2 years)...I have cried and cracked up reading your blog, thank you for your insight...thanks for keeping the debate complicated...there are NO simple answers. I didn't even know what a blog was when I started out 2 yrs ago.Amanda Morrow Millshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05641729211136826372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-7307310338431075142011-03-06T05:07:14.989-08:002011-03-06T05:07:14.989-08:00I am optimistic. I seriously doubt Ehtiopian chil...I am optimistic. I seriously doubt Ehtiopian children will be left languishing for months and years. I think MOWA is positioning for more resources and a compromise will be made soon. Maybe weeks at the most I predict. While I feel anguish for those already in the pipeline, I feel encouraged overall that the steps being made are for the good of the children and the birth families. We also have an open adoption. The other half of our family is in Ethiopia. It is beautiful.Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11309628095100410106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-63849268494580652282011-03-06T03:54:38.235-08:002011-03-06T03:54:38.235-08:00Couldn't sleep much at all last night. Thanks...Couldn't sleep much at all last night. Thanks for writing this, Julie.Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18024229630052292112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-64787941762198113202011-03-05T21:46:00.723-08:002011-03-05T21:46:00.723-08:00It feels ironic to go from a conversation about at...It feels ironic to go from a conversation about attachment to a conversation about a HUGE slowdown in a matter of hours. Kids lingering in institutional settings, even good institutional settings, means future conversations about attachment will be that much more common, and that much more intense. I am so hoping that somehow the Ethiopian system gets this right. Makes their adjustments quickly and finds a way to reduce the violations dramatically. In the meantime children suffer.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-90076858363658122332011-03-05T21:25:21.417-08:002011-03-05T21:25:21.417-08:00you said it. i feel sucker-punched today. nobody...you said it. i feel sucker-punched today. nobody wins.Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08822610125638529198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-52004270569241398992011-03-05T20:37:00.658-08:002011-03-05T20:37:00.658-08:00Sick and sad. For everybody Julie but mostly the c...Sick and sad. For everybody Julie but mostly the children - always the children.mslhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05077424241121741826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-56707631377724811602011-03-05T20:26:12.420-08:002011-03-05T20:26:12.420-08:00I've had a pit in my stomach since hearing the...I've had a pit in my stomach since hearing the news. We, too, feel fortunate in knowing our daughter's adoption was ethical. And now we are in process to adopt her sister, who is 4 years old and has already spent 6 months in the orphanage. The thought of things slowing down to the level they are predicting is unbearable to us. We just want her home.Camihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10629593322292414445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-40367236057906497122011-03-05T19:20:04.192-08:002011-03-05T19:20:04.192-08:00I've regretted not doing things faster when wh...I've regretted not doing things faster when when we were in process...not that we were slow, by any means, but now that I know the situation our daughter was in (she was a waiting child), I am crushed by the thought that I put things off, even just for days.<br /><br />I want nothing other than ethical adoptions, but orphanages are just no place for kiddos to live.Sharonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08074200111691759654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7233227024562434538.post-32951577984762607642011-03-05T19:06:15.674-08:002011-03-05T19:06:15.674-08:00thanks for this.
heartbroken for kids who will b...thanks for this. <br /><br />heartbroken for kids who will be stuck in institutions for possibly years... so sad...Gaylahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12958267663405508736noreply@blogger.com